When You're Broken
by ToWriteLoveOnAPage
Summary: Leah Clearwater is someone who has always been left behind. Her father is gone, her Sam has moved on and her body has betrayed her, but what happens when she finds love in the most unlikely and unfortunate of places? Will she be able to pick up the pieces
1. Everything Smells Like Leeches

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**CHAPTER NOTES:**

Fan Fiction is something I'v been wanting to write for a long time, but it was important to me to keep everything true to the original story. Everything from Twilight to Breaking Dawn is the same, this is simply an after thought. I will try and add a new chapter weekly and I hope you like it enough to keep reading.

I do realize that I am not Stephenie Meyer and that she owns Twilight and all of its characters. As much as I would like to stake a claim on them, I cannot because plagiarism is bad.

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Chapter Song: Broken by Lindsey Haun

_When you're Broken_

_In a million little piece_

_and you're trying'_

_but you can't hold on anymore_

_every tear falls down for a reason_

_don't you stop believin' in yourself_

_When you're broken_

Oh good god, I groaned as the soft thud of my paws carried me past the bloodsucker's backyard. I had just spied my oh-so-wonderful Alpha and his new play thing reading in the perfectly cropped grass. Well she was reading; Jake was drooling at the mouth with a glazed look over his eyes. This had become one of his favorite hobbies in recent months-among other equally disturbing things-and it was slightly sickening. Every minute he wasn't drooling, laughing, or obsessing over his little half-demon was wasted according to him.

Every attempt to separate him from her was met with a fight or an argument, "You heard what that foreign kid said, Nessie's only got seven years to grow up, I don't want to miss anything!" He would just keep getting louder and more obnoxious until whoever was trying to persuade him to leave would give up.

I didn't like his unwavering attention anymore than anyone else, but I knew by now that there was no point in arguing with him. I just hoped that he didn't mean he was actually gonna wait seven years to shower, two days was already pushing it with Jake, any longer and you'd need a gas mask just to get near the kid. As it was he hadn't left the crypt in almost a week, I wondered if he'd even slept.

A boom of laughter rang out into the otherwise pleasant silence, apparently Jacob thought it was absolutely hilarious when the creature jumped an unnatural fifteen feet into the air to catch a passing butterfly. I wrinkled my muzzle to show my disgust as Seth's patrol intercepted mine.

_Leah don't be such a pain, I know it's almost impossible for you, but just let him be. He's happy,_ Seth tried to sway me with his thoughts.

_Well he won't be so happy when he drowns his little monster in the river of saliva dripping from his big, stupid face_, I retaliated, _I mean look at him! It's disgraceful to be a subordinate to that!_

Seth didn't try to refute my statement, but I could see and feel his disagreement by the sudden rush of memories that washed over his mind from the first night our little pack had been formed. Memories of the three of us running patrols for days on end under Jacob's surprisingly efficient guidance. Memories that I also shared, but with different emotion. Seth felt devotion, even admiration, towards Jacob. I felt only gratitude, gratitude for giving me an escape from my ex-boyfriend and his soon-to-be wife. I mean I'll admit that once I got to know him he was a pretty good guy, I would even consider him my closest friend, but his love for all things un-dead made me question his sanity.

_Pick your poison Leah; Sam and Emily, or Jake and Ness,_ Seth shot back as he intruded on my thoughts.

_Bite me Seth, _I growled. Annoying pup, couldn't stay out of other people's heads...

_Well I won't have to if you keep calling Nessie a monster,_ he sighed and I saw daddy dracula's disgruntled face staring at me menacingly from Seth's point of view,_ Edward will bite you for me,_ he warned.

Great, I upset the he-vamp, better run for cover.

_Seriously Leah, it's his kid. How would you feel?_ Seth pleaded as he turned to run beside me. Ugh it was so typically Seth, fraternizing with the enemy, looking out for the leeches. Personally I didn't even think vampires could have feelings, so I wasn't about to waste my time sympathizing for one.

_Let's see, what would I feel if I were a bloodsucking monster?_ I pondered dramatically and nipped playfully at Seth's heels, _Hmmm...probably hungry. Yes, definitely starving. I wonder if he ever thinks about having his tasty bouncing baby girl as a midnight snack?_

Seth groaned at the same time that I heard a loud hiss from the direction of the backyard. I guess cannibalism was a touchy subject around here, but I couldn't resist overstepping the boundaries every once in a while. The only sure consequence was that world's best dad was about to go apeshit all over my fury little ass.

_You're in for it now,_ Seth sighed and pivoted to continue the circle in the opposite direction. The path wasn't hard to follow, it had been worn into a dirt trail by our constant and pointless searching. Three months had passed since those mafia vamps had ran back to Italy with their tails between their legs, and Jake still had us running patrols around his little girlfriend's house.

It had been unbearable enough when he was trailing after Bella Swan like some sick puppy, but this whole imprinting thing was a hundred times worse. At least when he was obsessed with Bella all we had to deal with were his mushy fantasies about the two of them, but now everything was just so damn kid friendly. It was teddy bears and unicorns everywhere. Blech...made me wanna puke.

"Leah," an irresistibly smooth voice called from the trees as I ran by them without a second thought.

_Oh shit! How did I miss a vamp sneaking up on me?_ I thought slightly panicked as I skidded to a halt and turned to face Edward, Geez, he looks like he wants to rip me face off! _Oh wait...he probably does...I wonder if it's good on toast?_

"My patience is wearing thin," he said with a stereotypical father-like tone and held his hands palm up as a sign of good intentions, "it's already a test to my self control, having to deal with Jacob's constant fawning over my daughter, but I simply won't have you thinking such venomous things about Renesmee. She is one of the two things I would give my life for in this world and if your choice is to stay with Jacob, then you will have to learn to tolerate her."

_I tolerate her just fine, _I thought and rolled my eyes, trying not to gag at his disgusting smell,_ I'm just full of tolerance, I'm practically exploding with it._

"I'm serious Leah," he said abandoning all attempts at light conversation and skipping straight to intimidation, "if I feel that you are a threat to my family for even one instant, I will not hesitate to break every bone in your body."

_That would suck, really it would, but could you at least spare my legs? I'm rather fond of them, all the rest you can break, but not the legs, _I smiled-well the best smile a werewolf can produce-but bowed my head just a fraction to let him know that his message was received.

_Don't worry, she's still part human, I can't touch her...no matter how bad she smells, _I assured him with my thoughts and at the same time shot a nasty picture of a couple in my school making out towards Seth. I knew he was eavesdropping on our conversation and decided that he needed to be reminded that when you played with fire, you got burned.

_EWWW gross Leah, I'm gonna need therapy!_ He whined in the distance.

_You know what they say about eavesdroppers Seth, _I chimed with satisfaction and turned my attention back to Edward. I had grown more comfortable around the vampires as of late, but I promised myself that I would never forget what the burning in my nose was programmed to tell me-they were our enemies. Leeches were not to be trusted. Besides if it weren't for them I wouldn't be a freak, I'd be engaged to Sam instead of Emily, I'd be happy...

"You know Leah, you really would be quite funny if you weren't so determined to alienate everyone around you," Edward smiled warily, "Your humor is almost refreshing-well when it isn't about my daughter."

_Yeah I'm thinkin about going on tour sometime, you know late night comedy on Leno or something, _I smirked,_ and hey, if they don't laugh at my jokes I can always turn into a giant wolf and eat them right?_

"I could see that," he chuckled and started to make his way back towards his "family" at just above a normal human pace. Bella was undoubtedly awaiting his return with bated breath, it was like one could barely function without the other. It was the most pathetic thing I had ever seen in my life.

_See ya vamp_, I sighed and yawned widely deciding to get some shut eye. I knew he had heard my last thoughts, but I hoped that it would make him realize just how whipped he was and make him man-up.

"Good bye dog," he smiled a crooked smile as if I were missing some crucial point to the situation and was gone. Even though he was an arrogant, un-dead monster, I couldn't deny that he was stunningly attractive. I might have even considered a few fantasies with him as the star, but tall, pale and bloodsucking wasn't exactly my type.

I sighed as this thought brought up the issue of boys; a subject I tried to avoid at all costs. To tell you the truth I really didn't know what I wanted anymore. At one time I had known my type, Sam was my type, but now I recoiled from everything and anything that reminded me of him. Sam had made me happy, he was exactly what I wanted, but now everything I had once hoped for was gone. It was tainted, forbidden fruit. I needed someone that was the opposite of Sam, the anti-Sam, but how could I love someone that was the opposite of everything that I loved? It was like asking a wolf to howl at the sun instead of the moon.

_Leah, you're making my head hurt, _Seth complained as he continued running. His thoughts were slightly smug at the fact that I had quit before him, but I was too wrapped up in my own confusing depression to care.

_Then mind your own head! _I snapped and pictured him as a toddler playing dress up in our mom's high heels and lipstick.

_Oh man! Leah you're such a-_

What I was exactly I would never know. At that moment I phased back into my human form and Seth's thoughts immediately ceased to play through my head. I had had enough of my little brother and it was time to get some well deserved rest, relaxation and privacy.

"Oh crap, where did I put my clothes?" I moaned in my human voice as I found myself completely naked and garment-less in the middle of the woods. My shirt and pants must have slipped out of the chord I was wearing around my leg without my noticing . Awesome.

I was about to be in a real dilemma when I looked to my side and spotted a white cotton dress folded neatly on a rock. Edward must have brought it out with him when he came to have our little chat, he probably was forced to take it courtesy of his momma vampire. Normally I would refuse anything that they gave me on pure principal, but I was a rational being and my pride would just have to take one for the team this time. I was not going to sit here and wait for my brother to find my pants, that was just degrading.

I slipped on the dress, which smelled strongly of bleach with the slightest hint of vampire stink, and dropped to the ground. Why did everything have to smell like leeches?

~--------------------------~

I awoke the next morning and immediately knew something was wrong. Seth wasn't running patrol, Jake wasn't worshipping Renesmee and there was shouting coming from the Cullen house. I didn't even bother to wipe the sleep from my eyes before I was sprinting towards the front door.

_Ugh it smells so sweet it burns my nose, I think I'm gonna puke._

Just then the door flew open and Edward was in the doorway motioning to me impatiently. "Finally, I thought you would never get up. Will you please get in here and calm him down," he said very quickly as he shoved me in the house. His touch was like dry ice against my skin.

_Oh my god the smell is too much, I'm not gonna make it,_ I couldn't help groaning internally as the disgusting stink of vampire hit me full force. I knew that Edward would be able to hear me, but trying to be polite by not offending a vampire was not reason enough for me to censor my thoughts. My eyes started to water in protest and I very nearly ran back out the door.

"Get a grip Leah, you don't exactly smell like a rose garden yourself, now get over it and do something," he rolled his eyes and pointed towards Jake who was yelling and flailing his arms at Seth. For the moment I forgot about the smell and growled menacingly at Jake, I knew that Seth could be annoying, but I was positive that he had never deserved that kind of discipline.

"Jake, step off Seth and pick on someone your own size," I scowled and stepped between them. At a little over six feet, I towered over Seth and could almost look Jake in the eyes, give me some heels and I could have stood neck and neck with him. "What is your problem anyway, your girlfriend dump you?"

I received a lot of death stares for that comment, but the vamps stayed quiet, they probably just wanted to wait until I diffused Jake before they maimed me.

"MY PROBLEM! MY PROBLEM?" he shouted manically at me and started pacing the length of the living room, "MY PROBLEM IS PAUL KNOCKED UP MY SISTER AND SETH WON'T LET ME GO UP TO SEATTLE AND TEAR HIM LIMB FROM LIMB! THE WEDDING IS IN TWO MONTHS AND HE JUST COULDN'T KEEP IT IN HIS PANTS! I'M GONNA KILL HIM!"

"Oh," I said surprised for a moment, but quickly regaining my composure. After all this was something I was forced to do quite often; being part of Jake's pack came with the requirement that you be able to make rational decisions when he was...otherwise inclined. "Jake calm down, stop trying to shout us to death with your disgusting morning breath and sit."

I said this with such force that he had no choice but to comply, he looked as though he might have considered making a run for it, but even if he had I would have caught him. We both knew I could. He looked at me murderously and plopped down on the couch with a huff, crossing his arms like a child throwing a tantrum. Maturity was not Jake's strong point.

"Alright so here is what is going to happen," I said commandingly and shot him a vicious glare to make sure he didn't interrupt me, "First, you are going to stay here at the house, you are not allowed to leave until you calm down."

"I am calm Leah," he growled and the muscles in his arm twitched as he tightened them across his chest.

"I mean really calm...like you stop having thoughts about murdering Paul," I rolled my eyes and he turned his head away in defiance, "and second, you're going to explain to me why the hell Rachel and Paul are in Seattle and not in Forks."

I put my hands on my hips and waited for a response, but Jake was apparently incapable of forming coherent sentences at the moment. It really didn't make any sense why the two would be in Seattle. I mean they were busy enough with all the wedding preparations as it was, I couldn't imagine them taking a vacation so close to the big day.

After a long, awkward silence someone finally spoke up.

"Well they went to the hospital here in Forks at first, but there was something weird on the ultra sound, so they sent her to a hospital in Seattle to get it checked out," Seth finally answered my question seeing as Jake was too busy giving me the cold shoulder.

At Seth's word Jacob's cold exterior melted into a puddle of worry and pain. I could tell that he was more worried about his sister than angry with Paul, but if something was seriously wrong with Rachel there was a very big chance that Paul and Jake would end up fighting.

"So you see? I have to go see her, she could need surgery or something!" Jake exclaimed, "and I promise I'm not gonna kill Paul for christ sake."

"No breaking his bones either Jacob," Edward said darkly. Jake had obviously forgotten that Edward could read his mind and he swore under his breath.

"You're too angry right now Jake, if you lost control you could hurt Rachel or Billy," I reasoned. I knew that the thought of injuring his family would bring him back to earth a little, "What if me and Seth go instead? We could see how she's doing and then call and give you the full report?"

I could see Jake mulling it over by the way his arms loosened their death grip on his mid section slightly and a small wrinkle formed on his forehead. You could practically hear the rusty gears clanking to life inside his otherwise empty skull. I loved the kid like family, but he sure was hot headed sometimes.

"That sounds like an excellent idea Leah," the slightly less creepy, doctor vamp said in an attempt to move things along. I had always felt a little less hostility towards him than the others, I mean he was a doctor for heavens sake, he put my arm in a cast when I was sixteen.

"Uh...thanks," I smiled unsurely at him, he responded with his own father-like grin. It was oddly comforting and reminded me of my own father...well before his passing the year before.

Jake sighed and looked around pleadingly at the houseful of supernatural beings until his eyes finally rested on Bella. I had a feeling that he was relying on his best friend to take his side on the matter, but the way she clutched Edward's hand defensively told me that she wasn't going to save him this time. Edward squeezed her hand reassuringly and nodded, with his encouragement she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"That sounds like the best idea to me Jake, I mean pregnancy is kind of a girly thing, it would be easier for her to talk to Leah then to talk to you," she said sheepishly without peeking from under her closed lids until every word was out of her mouth. I heard Rosalie grunt in agreement as she placed her hand bracingly on Bella's shoulder. I never liked blondie too much, okay at all, but she was on my side for once and beggers can't be choosers.

Jake looked crazed, but finally defeated.

"Fine, but you leave now and call me as soon as you get there!" he spat and jumped up from the couch, nearly knocking over the coffee table, "Where's Nessie? I promised to take her to the beach today," he grumbled and then disappeared up the stairs.

"He never remembers to pack her beach towel," Bella mumbled and then followed him up the stairs. I knew it was just a lame excuse so that she could go and make sure he was okay.

Edward, being released from Bella's grip, walked over to a desk and rummaged around in the drawer for a second before pulling out a set of keys and tossing them lightly to me. I caught them reflexively and stared down at the expensive looking leather key fob that adorned them.

"Thank you, you're the only one who can make him see reason sometimes," he said sincerely as he shut the drawer quietly, "You can take Alice's Porsche, it has a full tank of gas. Oh and there is an air freshener in the glove box-I just thought you should know," he added as an after thought.

"Thanks," I said a little awestruck that they were willing to trust me with such an expensive toy, but then again they probably had a whole warehouse full of the things, they were so filthy stinkin rich.

"No need to thank us," he shrugged, "but Alice might kill me if you scratch up her ride, so please be careful."

_Hmm so the big expensive toy did mean something to them...interesting._

"No problem, but you're going to have to remind me, which one is the gas peddle again?" I said innocently and "accidentally" hit the panic button on the car remote. The burst of the little car's horn echoed from the garage and caused everyone to jump.

Alice nearly passed out.

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**Chapter End Notes:**

So I hope you like overly sarcastic Leah, that is just how I pictured she would be, tough and witty. Anyway keep reading I promise there are a lot of surprises ahead and I would really love it if you would review. I don't care if it's a complaint, a praise, or a question, but anything would make my day.

Up Next: I hope hospitals don't freak you out! *Hint hint wink wink* But if you read Breaking Dawn I'm pretty sure that was ten times more gory and frightening than any normal hospital situation (Bella breaking her spine especially). Although I do have a friend that's so afraid of the place that she won't even drive by it, but that's a different story...


	2. Seth, I'm About to Rip You Apart

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**CHAPTER NOTES:**

Warning: This chapter regards hospitals in an unfavorable manner, not that most of you care, but if you are of a profession where you tend to work in a hospital, then i sincerely apologize if you are offended. I assure you that I take no issue with the places, in fact I just visited a friend that had open heart surgery and found my experience neither creepy nor scary.

Things that I do find creepy and scary: spiders, heights, and those weird noises you hear in the middle of the night that usually end up just being your stupid cat.

Things that I don't : Twilight because it is awesome and yes, all characters belong to Stephanie Meyers..I just thickened the plot.

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Chapter Song: Poppin' Champagne by All Time Low

_Why don't you say so?_

_I think I'm caught in between_

_The nights and days fly by_

_When I'm lost on the streets_

_And my eyes, they despise you for who I am_

"If you touch the radio one more time I will break your arm Seth," I hissed through gritted teeth as my dear brother skimmed through the stations relentlessly. I couldn't take it anymore, I was going to have to kill him.

"That's child abuse Leah," he smirked and continued his aggravating search through the nine hundred channels that the Cullens received on their expensive satellite radio. He settled on some stupid rap song and cranked up the volume until the car steering wheel was basically vibrating beneath my fingers.

"Turn that down!" I growled.

"What? Can't hear you!" Seth shouted and turned the volume up louder.

"I'll show you child abuse!" I yelled over the music and stepped on the gas. The car shot up to eighty in under five seconds and Seth was gripping onto his seat for dear life as we rounded a turn with a loud screech.

"Come on don't drive like a maniac," he scoffed.

I ignored him and shifted the car into the next highest gear, it lurched forward with a satisfying roar from the engine.

"Leah we're gonna be road pizza if you don't slow down!" he stammered, trying not to sound worried, but failing miserably.

I smiled wickedly at him and pushed the yellow sports car up to triple digits, "what? I can't hear you Seth!" I said, cupping my hand to my ear for dramatic effect, "the music must be too loud or something."

"Alright I got it!" he yelled and slammed the off button on the radio, "No touching the radio-won't happen again-now slow down!"

I smiled victoriously and let the car coast to a less deadly velocity of sixty miles per hour. We both knew that the chance of me crashing was highly unlikely, but speed will always be one of those things that gives you that butterflies in your stomach, dangerous feel. Though it was hardly dangerous for a werewolf; even if I did wrap the car around a telephone pole, we would survive, but healing bones was painful business. I tried to avoid unnecessary injury for the most part, but the risk was well worth it when it meant that I got to scare Seth shitless. The look on his little baby face was priceless.

"So little bro," I mused as we drew closer and closer to our destination, "if you don't want to listen to the radio then why don't you tell me what it's like having a leech as a best friend?"

He sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes, "Leah I don't want to hear it, Edward is a good guy, just because nobody meets your high standards doesn't mean that they aren't nice people."

"Not wanting to be all buddy buddy with a bloodsucking monster is a high standard?" I scoffed, "and here I thought it was just common sense, silly me."

"You're just determined to hate them Leah," he shrugged and leaned his seat back to get some sleep, "whatever, it's your problem."

"Of course I'm determined to hate them!" I growled in disbelief, "If it wasn't for them then we'd be normal! We'd be in school like everyone else instead of driving off to Seattle to check on Rachel and her uterus full of puppies!"

Seth flinched, "ew Leah, don't say that word, it's so...gross."

"Uterus, uterus, uterus," I chanted, receiving a flinch from Seth with each noun I shot at him. I know it was childish, like when a little kid pushes all the floors on the elevator just to see them light up, but I couldn't help myself. Teasing my younger sibling was a birthright and it was way more entertaining than pushing elevator buttons anyway.

"You are so annoying Leah!" he huffed and put his fingers in his ears, trying to escape the female anatomy I was now shouting at the top of my lungs, "there is no way we're related!"

"Oh yes, because I'm sure the ability to explode into a giant, super powered wolf runs in a lot of families," I snickered as he sneered at me.

"Shut up, I'm going to sleep," he stuck out his tongue and reclined the seat so that it was nearly horizontal. In a matter of seconds his thick snores filled the silence. Super, I got to listen to him saw wood all the way to Seattle.

I strummed my fingers impatiently on the steering wheel and watched the variety of cars that flashed by my window as I blew past them. None of them were as nice as the leech mobile I was driving, but even though this was undoubtedly the finest and most incredible machine I had ever had the privilege to experience, I couldn't wait to get out of it. It smelled so incredibly disgusting that all I could do was think about was arriving at the hospital. Even sick people smell was better than this.

I flicked the stupid air freshener that I had found thanks to Edward's instructions and wished that I had about fifty more of them. The "new car" scent wasn't nearly as strong as I had hoped it would be and now it just smelled like a mixture of plastic and vamps in leather. I didn't dare open the window in fear that I would wake Seth, so I would just have to grin and bare it for the next two hours and forty seven minutes. It was going to be a long day.

I finally tore Seth from his slumber by slamming my door with as much force as I possibly could without completely totaling Alice's baby. He jumped awake, looking around frantically, and growled when he spied the smirk on my face.

"Nice nap?" I asked innocently.

"Great," he replied bitterly as he stepped out of the car, "I dreamt that Jake replaced you with a schnauzer and I never had to see you again, it was wonderful."

"Aw come on now Seth," I smiled playfully and ruffled his hair, "at least I keep things interesting, you'd get bored of the schnauzer."

"Doubt it," he grumbled as we walked into the extensive lobby. The place sure was swanky for a hospital; fancy leather chairs in the waiting room, a wide screen TV and even a Starbucks? Wow, people should get sick more often.

"Dang, so this is where our tax money goes huh?" I joked to the woman behind the information desk, appreciating the fact that we didn't have to pay taxes on the reserve. She stared at me with a moody, unblinking expression.

"Can I help you?" she sighed, obviously just flowing with enthusiasm over her very important and fulfilling job. Man she was happy.

"Er..." I stammered and very subtly put some distance between me, Mrs. in-love-with-life and her desk adorned with assorted cat figurines, "Could you tell me where Rachel Black's room is?"

She rolled her eyes and turned her rolling chair with a squeak towards the fancy flat screen computer on the opposite desk. She typed so slowly that I was pretty sure I could have bought a chimpanzee, taught it to use a keyboard, got it a job interview at the hospital, and asked it to find Rachel's room, faster than she was moving. I was just about to start trying to sniff out Paul's stink on my own when she finally turned back to us with another loud squeak.

"Room 405. Follow the green signs, take the green elevator to the fourth floor and the maternity ward should be on the left," she mumbled emotionlessly, "have a good day."

Seth was fighting very hard to keep his laughter in check as he trotted after me, but his muffled snorting gave him away. He had managed to snag one of the figurines off of her desk and now held a white porcelain kitten in a pink sweater that said "Hot mamma" in his hand. If I hadn't been so anxious, I probably would have thought it was funny too, but I was too busy worrying about Rachel.

I didn't really know Rachel as anything other than Jacob's sister, so technically speaking I was overreacting. I liked Rachel well enough, she was a little older than me, but had always been nice to me and the thought of her in the hospital put me on edge. Not only because I knew that if Paul had hurt her by accident, Jake wouldn't rest until he tore him to pieces, but also because hospitals scared the shit out of me. Whenever I went into a hospital it seemed like I always walked out one family member short.

My grandfather died from a stroke, my grandma went in for surgery and never came out, and my father...well that memory was the most recent and most traumatic. The painful image of his worn, lifeless body in the small, white, sterile room of Forks hospital still made me shake in grief. It made me nervous to the point of panic just being here and knowing that somewhere in these walls a family was losing a loved one.

"Leah? You okay," Seth asked as we rode the green elevator to our fourth floor destination, "you look paler than the Cullens."

"I'm fine," I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger, "I just don't like hospitals."

"Oh...right," he agreed quietly as realization hit him, "me neither."

We both remained silent until the doors beeped pleasantly and slid open. Billy was waiting to enter as we stepped out.

"Seth! Leah!" he said in shock and rolled out of the way to let us by, "What are you two doing here?"

"It's me pops, Jacob, don't you recognize your own son?" I joked and bent down to give the old man a peck on the cheek.

"Of course! My mistake," he laughed and took my hand in both of his, giving it a gentle squeeze before shaking Seth's.

"Is mom here?" Seth asked, looking around the waiting room eagerly.

"No, last I heard she was still in Olympia with Charlie," he sighed warily at the thought of the "secret" romance blossoming between his two friends, "I expect they'll be up to visit as soon as they can."

Ever since Bella had moved out to live with Edward and his family, my mom and Charlie had been inseparable. At first they were just too lonely people helping each other through a rough patch, but before I knew it they were going away on "fishing trips" together and making goo goo eyes at one another across the dinner table. Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration-my mom had never been the kind of woman to make goo goo eyes-but I could tell that the day was fast approaching where I'd be calling Isabella Cullen, sis. Ugh, I shuddered at just the thought.

"So, where's Jake," Billy asked hopefully and peered around me as if looking for his gigantic son hiding behind my slender frame.

"He's back in Forks," I explained, "He was a little upset when he found out about...you know. He might have threatened Paul's life a few times and there was a lot of shouting, so we thought it was best to keep him away from the happy couple."

"Upset is an understatement," Seth muttered and rolled his eyes, deciding to be the sarcastic one for a change.

"Yeah, I thought that might happen," Billy sighed, looking very tired and putout, "I just hoped...I mean I hardly ever see him nowadays."

Believe me, you don't want to see him worshipping that little Cullen creation, you'd be ashamed, I thought to myself.

"So...any news on Rachel," Seth said hesitantly.

Billy snapped out of one depression and entered another as he looked towards room 405 with worry etched across every line of his old, wizened face, "The doctor's in with her now giving her another ultrasound. They've got better equipment here in Seattle, so we hope they'll be able to tell us the problem without having to do any...tests." He finished looking terrified for his daughter.

"I'm sure she'll be fine Billy," Seth assured him and patted his shoulder comfortingly, "now why don't you show me where the bathrooms are, it was a long car ride," he said, glancing at me before following after Billy's speeding chair. I guessed that his look was the signal for "go call Jake before he highjacks an airplane and parachutes into Rachel's room" and so I set off to find some reception.

I walked through a set of large, double doors and found myself in a long, white hallway. It looked mostly uninhabited except for the few nurses that darted in and out of the rooms that alternated down the chalk colored hall and by the grace of god I had service! Praise Jesus or whatever!

"Leah? What took you so long?" Jake panted into the receiver after only one ring. Geez what ever happened to "hey" and "how are you"?

"Sorry I kept you waiting," I said in mock sincerity, "next time I'll sprout wings and fly to Seattle."

"I am not in the mood Leah, just tell me my sister is okay," he said shortly.

"Keep your sorry excuse for pants on!" I said exasperatedly, "She's in with the doctor now, they're giving her another ultrasound and then hopefully they'll know what's wrong."

"What!" he shouted in obvious outrage, "Those stupid butchers haven't even seen her until now!"

"Calm down, breathe, find a happy place," I sighed lazily while examining my finger nails, "if they thought her problem was life threatening they would have treated it as such, but obviously they were confident that she wouldn't drop dead as soon as they wheeled her in-and what do you know! The butchers were right!"

"I'v had it with you! Let me talk to Seth!" he growled and the tirade of high and low pitched beeps told me that he was squeezing his phone and accidentally pressing all the buttons on the handset.

"Seth is taking a leak, I'll call you when the doctor is done," I snapped, "bye!"

"I know it's his sister and all, but dude's gotta chill," I said to no one in particular, though a short, stocky nurse gave me a funny look.

"Hey Leah, there you are!" Seth sighed in relief as he burst through the double doors, "Doctor's done and Rachel's asking for you. She said she wants to talk to you before she'll even let Paul see her, which of course is driving him up the walls..."

"What?" I said cocking an eyebrow, Rachel and I were friendly, but I would hardly consider us to be THAT close, "Why would she want to see me?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, "Like Bella said, it's a girlie thing."

Huh, maybe momma vamp was right, but how was I supposed to help Rachel deal with this 'girlie thing'? I mean I was basically menopausal and children were something I considered a burden rather than a sparkling bundle of joy. Even when Seth was a baby all I could think was, "when will this kid grow into his huge melon sized head and finally stop crying?"

"Okay," I gave him a confused look and then headed off towards room 405, my heart was pounding faster than normal and for once in my life, I couldn't find one sarcastic thing to say.

"Leah!" Rachel smiled widely when she saw me walk timidly into the room and close the door behind me. At least she was smiling, so it had to be good news, that was a relief.

"Hey Rachel, so...uh hows the pup?"

She smiled even wider, a feat which I didn't think possible until I saw the ridiculously huge grin plastered across her face. I had never understood what people said about glowing until now.

"Puppies," she corrected me, "I'm having twins!"

"W-what!" I stammered and tried to look surprised, but mostly it just came out as a mixture of fear and disgust. Poor girl, now she had to deal with two brats, not to mention the stretch marks...

"Yeah, isn't it great!" she giggled and rubbed the small bump on her stomach lovingly, "That's why the Forks doctors were all confused, one twin is right on top of the other, so the picture came out all funny."

"Wow, that's uh...great." I said tucking my short, black hair behind my ear uncomfortably, "I mean there's nothing wrong with you or the baby...I mean babies...right?"

"Nope, we're as fit as fiddles!" she giggled again.

"So, how far along are you?" I asked not really sure if she wanted me to continue the conversation, I was still confused as to why she had asked me here in the first place.

"A little less than three months," she said without hesitation and took a sip of water from her bedside table. I waited for her to hint as to why she had asked for me, but she just lay there with that big, glowing smile on her face.

"Uh...Rachel?" I asked.

"Hm?"

"Why did you want to talk to me before everyone else? Not that I'm not happy for you! It's just that, well if you were looking for girlie, I'm not exactly the right person to..."

"Leah, you aren't making any sense," she chuckled and gave me another smile. That girl's face was gonna fall off if she didn't stop grinning.

"Why did you want to talk to me first and not Paul or your father?" I simplified.

"Oh," she raised her eyebrows in surprise, "I thought that was obvious, you're supposed to tell Jake. From what I'v gathered your his right hand uh...woman."

"Oh," I said just as surprised as she had been, "Yeah, I'll call him now."

I pulled out my phone and was about to hit redial when I paused and looked at Rachel quizzically, "Better yet, why don't you talk to him?" I smiled and tossed her the phone. She caught it skillfully with one hand and pressed the call button with the other.

"Thanks," she mouthed before her attention was demanded by the shouting Jacob on the other line. I practically ran for the exit and crashed into Paul as the door to room 405 closed quietly behind me.

"Idiot!" I yelled as I picked myself up off the dirty hospital tile, "What the hell is wrong with you!"

"She's okay right?" he asked me in a panic, his eyes flickering between mine, "If I hurt her...she has to be okay! We were going to get married in February, we should have waited..."

"Paul," I grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard, trying to snap him out of his trance, "she's fine!"

He looked up at me stupidly and I could see the effort it took for his smallish brain to make sense out of my words.

"S-she's fine?"

"Yes!" I practically shouted and shook him by the shoulders again. He continued to stare into my eyes desperately, but as his erratic breathing subsided, so did his fear. He exhaled in relief and a huge smile spread across his face as he laughed out loud. I was so stunned by how intense and pure his happiness was that I didn't realize what he was about to do before it was too late and his arms were wrapped around me in a vice-like embrace.

"Paul...gerroff...me...now!" I managed to squeeze out of my compressed lungs.

"Sorry," he chuckled and released me as he jumped to his feet. We met eye to eye, nose to nose, it was like looking at myself in a boy's body. We even had the same short haircut and of course the copper colored skin...

"Go get my phone back from your fiancee," I said clearing my throat and shifting to the side uncomfortably.

"Er...right," he mumbled with a weirded-out expression, that I was sure, matched mine. I'm pretty positive that was the most awkward moment of my life, okay maybe ever...

After Paul had finally emerged from the room with my phone, I decided that I didn't want to chance any more awkward moments today. My life was already awkward enough without Paul being my wonder twin.

So, I walked down the long, never ending hall towards the promise of some solitude and a full meal in my stomach. I was supposed to be following the blue signs to the hospital cafe and bring back lunch for everyone minus Rachel-being the patient she got room service. Basically I was like super nanny only without the british accent.

I flicked through the contacts list in my phone absentmindedly with the sole purpose of trying to appear busy. I hated it when you found yourself walking silently towards another person and you got to that point where they were close enough for you to see their face. As you got closer and closer you would find yourself awkwardly glancing at them to gauge if they were going to give you some kind of recognition and whether or not you would have to reciprocate.

Some people would give you a hesitant smile or a polite salutation, but I preferred to avoid unnecessary human contact whenever possible. As a matter of fact I tried to avoid everything unnecessary. Doing stupid things, like being friendly to strangers, only wasted time. Not that I didn't have time to waste, I had loads of time, I had forever, eternity, until the end of the world...

Wait.

Woah.

Hold up.

Who the hell put Edward's number in my phone! I definitely didn't-I didn't want to spend anymore time talking to him than required-maybe Seth? Ugh I was gonna kill him for tainting my phone with that bloodsuckers name! Who wants to be called Edward anyway, I mean Ed or Eddie were okay, but Edward was so...proper.

"Oh crap, when did those signs turn purple?" I scoffed as I shut my phone gruffly and noticed the very obviously purple square mounted on the wall to my left. Great, I was lost. Stupid color coded signs.

I stuffed my phone unceremoniously in my pocket and turned around as I walked back in the direction I had just come from. Suddenly a nurse burst from one of the open rooms and nearly dropped the empty IV bag she was holding as we avoided a collision. She was a tiny thing, barely came up to my elbow, but she was fierce when she spoke.

"Watch where you're going miss!" she scolded with the look of someone who had been having a very bad day, "this is a hospital for christ sake, not a museum!" She mumbled to herself as she disappeared behind the nurse's station.

I shook my head in exhaustion and started to walk away, but something caught my attention and rendered my legs temporarily incapable of moving. As the nurse brushed past me, she brought the faint smell of something familiar and it blew across my face, caressing my senses. The smell was so...strange, it didn't belong in this hospital full of the stuffy, foreboding stench of death and disease. It belonged to the ocean, to the beautiful sands and shores of La Push beach, it belonged to me.

Before I could stop myself I was walking cautiously, but purposefully into the small, quiet room. I could hear the steady drip of a freshly hung IV bag, the shallow breathing of the room's occupant, the faint breeze drifting from the open window. I let my eyes wonder the room for an indication of what caused the smell, but there was nothing, only a privacy curtain that surrounded the space where I assumed the sick patient slept. I knew that this person was sick and not just healing from a broken bone because the smell of illness lingered, but the fresh, strong aroma of sea water overpowered it.

It was the most intoxicating scent I had ever smelled and everything about it reminded me of my favorite place in the world-the beach. It was salty like the vapor exploding from the crashing waves on a windy day, fresh like the wet forrest that embraced the shoreline and brisk like the icy intake of breath that filled your lungs when you jumped into the cold waters. I wanted-no needed-to find the source of this little piece of home.

My keen nose told me that the smell was coming from behind the curtain and I found my usually sure, steady hands reaching shakily towards the paper thin curtain and drawing it back slowly.

And then I saw him.

And I heard him.

And I smelled him.

Him. Only him.

The walls of the hospital melted away into grey-where I was no longer mattered-nothing mattered anymore. I thought I was dead, I had no purpose and no reason to live, but suddenly something fell into place inside me. It was like I was resetting, erasing everything I had once known and replacing it with something that was so much more than I could have ever imagined. I accepted the change gladly, it was so strong that I felt if it disappeared, I would too. Nothing was important to me anymore; not my name, not my responsibilities, no one mattered more than the beautiful man that lay before me on the rigid, bulky frame of his hospital bed.

He was perfect, he was everything, he was mine.

Mine.

I had to have him, I had to know him, I had to be near him.

Always.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Cliffhanger! Muwahahahaha

... yeah sorry about that, but review!

For chapter songs and a few others that inspired me check out my project playlist at .com/user/38737864


	3. This is All Kinds of Crazy

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CHAPTER NOTES:

Warning: This chapter is kinda mushy, I know that mushy isn't really Leah's style, but then again she's never imprinted before so who knows.

Plus I didn't think it would be believable if she was just like, "Hey I imprinted, whatever, well I guess I'm in love now...whoopee."

Yeah, see not as powerful as one might think, so things get a little emotional from here on in. Yee have been warned.

Oh and by the way: I don't own Twilight...well technically I DO own the book Twilight, it was $11.65 on amazon, but Stephanie Meyers owns all the ideas and characters

* * *

Chapter Song: Until the Day I Die by Story of the Year

_I race the clock with you_

_But if you died right now_

_You know that I'd die to_

_I'd die too_

_You remind me of the times_

_When I knew who I was (I was)_

_But still the second hand will catch us_

_Like it always does_

I stood over his quiet, sleeping body for an unrecognizable amount of time. Time wasn't important enough to be kept anymore. Instead of counting the seconds I spent them memorizing his flawless features; afraid that if I looked away, he wouldn't be there when I looked back. It was like I hadn't realized I had been drowning until suddenly, he had saved me, his angelic face bringing me back from the brink of oblivion. He was undoubtedly the most stunning man I had ever seen in my life, and believe me, I was not one to use the word "stunning" frequently. In fact I was so stunned by his endless perfection that it took me a long time to realize that something was wrong...

His pale, frail looking skin was dampened with a thin sheet of sweat and the hair on his chin was scruffy and unkept as though he had recently quit shaving. His body bore the obvious signs of having once been muscular and strong, but now his skin hung loosely from his diminished form. His breathing was shallow and his throat rattled as air passed into and out of his lungs. Something was terribly wrong, the smell of sickness surrounded him, mixing unpleasantly with his captivating ocean scent. Machines beeped and ticked and dripped around him and into him. My savior was suffering, but why? I did not know.

Without thinking I grabbed the chart hung over the end of his bed and flipped it open. I didn't care that what I was doing was highly illegal and that if I was caught I would probably be arrested; my only worries were for him.

My eyes searched frantically over the complicated text in front of me. It was filled with doctor's names, prescription doses and insurance information. All inconsequential. I flipped the paper in a rush and fixed on a more useful form.

His name was Luke Daniels. I might as well change my name to Luke Daniels seeing as his name was now the most important two words in my vocabulary.

"Luke," I whispered and an involuntary smile lifted the corners of my mouth as his perfection rolled off my tongue. The fact that our names sort of matched-Leah and Luke-was a little creepy, but also strangely exciting. It was like we had been made for each other...oh god that sounds corny.

Luke was thirty years old, six foot five, had blue eyes, brown messy hair and his only living relative was a sister that lived in Ireland. I was probably the only visitor he had received since his admittance. I growled at the thought; he deserved a room full-no-a parade full of people, not a lonely existence in solitude. He would never be lonely again, I would make sure of it.

My eyes searched down the chart again, with each line I discovered a new fact, some new piece of information that I could add to my list. He was allergic to peanut butter, didn't have any tonsils, broke his leg when he was nine, was diagnosed with cancer in...

He had cancer.

No.

No no no no no.

Not him.

Not Luke.

No.

I dropped the chart in horror and it clattered to the floor. His eyes flickered open and his brilliant blue pupils instantly fixed on mine. He looked shocked as he considered me, I barely dared to breathe as my world was crashing down around me, but just when I was about to run from the room a cocky smile pulled his lips into the most beautiful expression I had ever seen.

"Well, hey there, beautiful," he said in a deep, raspy voice. Oh my god, if a voice could kill...

I stood stock still trying to remember how to function properly.

"I must be dead, 'cause you look like you just fell from heaven," he smirked confidently.

"Really?" I scoffed amusedly as I regained my ability to speak, "That's the best pick up line you got? Man you must get no action."

Thankfully my mind had decided to start working again-sarcastic Leah was back.

"Well, the whole, 'I'm dying' thing usually gets a guy a lot of sympathy tail," he chuckled as his eyes darted to the chart on the floor. Shit, now he probably thought I was some creepy stalker! Shit, I probably was some creep stalker!

"But the thing is, my bed only fits one," he patted the mattress he was laying on.

"Oh come on," I laughed and picked up his chart, placing it back in its proper position, "a hot guy like you must drive the nurses crazy."

"Nah, they're all over the burn unit guys," he sighed convincingly, "lucky bastards."

I couldn't help myself from laughing and he joined in with his deep, husky chuckle.

"So, what's a pretty little thing like you doing in a dead man's room anyway?" he questioned as our laughter faded, "community service? If you're gonna read me a book, I like the little engine that could, I find it inspiring."

"No, I..." I tried to find some excuse for why I was in his room...looking at his stuff...staring at him like a peeping tom, but my wit failed me.

"Well?" he prompted crossing his arms and looking amused.

"To tell you the truth, I just kinda wandered in here by accident," I shrugged seeing no other way to explain this situation, "and uhh...picked up your chart by accident...and then looked at it by accident too."

I expected him to throw his TV remote at me and then press the call button frantically for a nurse to come and save him from the psychopathic girl in the white cotton dress, but he just smiled. Wow, this guy had a high creepiness tolerance.

"Yeah, its not really a surprise," he said cockily and put his hands behind his head sighing, "what can I say? I'm just a hot chick magnet."

"Oh yes, your paper gown brings all the girls to the yard," I rolled my eyes and ventured closer to the chair by the side of the bed, hesitating slightly before sitting down.

He gave me a toothy grin and chuckled, "see, you just can't stay away. Name's Luke by the way, but you probably know that," he smirked and gestured towards his chart. "So, you got a name, beautiful?"

"It's Leah-just Leah-none of this 'beautiful' shit," I sighed. I didn't like pet names, Sam used to call me Lee-Lee, but that was a long time ago.

"Well, geez, baby," he muttered, his forehead creasing in concern, "who broke your heart?"

"What are you talking about?" I said nervously as the traitorous muscle raced in my chest, "no one, my heart is just fine thank-you-very-much," I lied.

Was it that obvious? How could he see through me so fast?

"Ah," he nodded slightly, "that bad, huh?"

I looked away from him for the first time since seeing his face and nodded at the floor.

"Well, you can always have hot hate sex with a cute, blue eyed stranger right?" he smiled. Ah, a man who knew how to crack a joke to relieve the tension, now that was a man after my own heart.

"You wish," I sneered playfully.

"Hey, at least I won't be able to tell anyone seeing as I'll probably croak over the weekend. I'm so far gone they didn't even bother to give me chemo, but at least I'll have all my hair when I walk towards those pearly white gates" he laughed sarcastically.

I didn't.

It wasn't funny.

It was horrible.

And what was worse was the fact that he didn't even seem to have any hope that there was anything waiting for him after life. He joked about heaven as though it was a ridiculous fable, he thought that his death was truly the end.

His laughter died after a few short seconds when he realized I wasn't sharing his joke; it came and went quickly just as his life would soon end prematurely. Next weekend. It was an exaggeration I was sure, but I could tell he didn't have much more than a few weeks, a few weeks and his bed would be empty. I looked mournfully into his eyes as the realization hit me. Normally I wasn't the kind of girl who showed emotion, crying was for the weak, but as I stared into his clear blue irises a hot tear trickled down my cheek.

He stared back at me with a searching expression, but his gaze was strong and deep. I knew that he felt the connection; the thickness of the air as it became harder to breathe, the fading of the sound as our heartbeats pounded in our chests. I couldn't bring myself to look away and he wasn't stopping anytime soon.

So this was what it was like to imprint. To feel so connected to one person that nothing between you is awkward or fake. To breathe only because if you stopped you would leave him. To live just for looking into his eyes as if they were the only color in a world of grey.

"Kiss me," he said softly without breaking our bond.

"W-what?" I stammered only managing to sound vaguely offended.

"I'm dying, you're crying for me and I'v got nothing to lose," he said with resolve, "so, kiss me."

I don't remember telling my body to move, but suddenly I was by his side, his eyes had remained on mine as I moved quietly to the bed. I couldn't have refused him even if I had wanted to, his wish was my command. With a single second of frightened hesitation I climbed onto the cot and carefully swung one leg over his frail body, straddling his lap. Our eyes remained open and fixed on each other as I leaned in slowly. With every breath his scent washed over me, with every breath our mouths grew closer.

I paused as I felt the tip of my topmost lip touch his and he shuddered slightly where he lay. His pulse was racing and so was mine, but with one last breath our lips connected and everything else ceased to exist. Our mouths moved slowly and carefully as we explored the unfamiliar feel of one another, our eyes finally closed as his tongue traced the bottom edge of my lip. This was my first kiss since Sam, but the best kiss of my life.

With Sam I had been blinded by passion and fire, but with Luke I was aware of everything. Sam's kisses had been so intense and aggressive it was almost as if we were battling with our tongues, but Luke's kiss was gentle and emotional, almost poetic in its beauty. His rough, unshaven skin rubbed against mine and his hands moved from my back and were suddenly placed tenderly on the sides of my face, holding me to him. The wires from his IV swung haphazardly against my arm and I moved my own hands to his hair as we fell back against the headrest of the bed.

We remained in blissful unity until his condition forced him to the surface. He took in a sudden rattling gulp of air while I collapsed into his chest panting. He was sweating under my overheated body and it took him much too long for him to settle his gasping breaths. I waited until finally his pounding heart slowed into an uneven rhythm that I recognized as though I had heard it every day of my life.

I carefully rolled off his lap and lay on my back beside him. He looked over at me and I turned my head to meet his gaze. He was smiling. I was too.

"Now I can die a happy man," he laughed quietly and reached his unwired arm up to stroke his fingers down my jaw line.

"Stop talking about death," I sighed and smiled wider at the feel of his skin against mine, "it's kind of a buzz kill."

He just laughed his beautiful booming laugh which filled the hallow silence of his room with a melody of sound. His humor quieted, but the sound did not as his once playful laughter turned into a rough, shaky cough. I waited him for him to settle back down, but the coughing continued and his heart rate monitor spiked. His coughing grew in intensity as the panicked beeping of the monitor sounded behind us.

I jumped up from where I lay and pressed the nurse call button frantically. No, this could not be happening, not now. I clutched my scalp in agony as I watched him in pain, feeling completely helpless. There was nothing I could do to save him. A speeding bus I could stop, if he was drowning I could drag him ashore, if a vampire was threatening to suck him dry I could snap the filthy bloodsuckers neck, but cancer... I couldn't fight that.

Wait.

What if...what if someone else could fight it for me?

I couldn't save him, but I knew someone who could.

I drifted to the back of the room as a team of nurses rushed in and injected him with something. He gasped and his heart rate monitor slowed as he drifted into an induced, unnatural sleep. The nurses gave me a reproachful look and closed the privacy curtain around his bed with a snap so that they could work on him.

I pulled out my phone in a zombie like trance, found the number in my contacts and hit send.

"Hello?" a smooth voice answered.

"Edward," I nearly cried in desperation, "I need you here...bring Carlisle."

* * *

END CHAPTER NOTES:

So...any ideas on why Leah would call Edward???

Reviews please! Thanks!


	4. Romeo and Juliet Had Nothin' On Me

* * *

Chapter Notes:

So, Edward and Carlisle are on their way, Seth and Paul are probably gnawing on chair legs at the moment because their lunches never showed up, Leah is freaking out and Luke...well, he's a little preoccupied with not dying at the moment. Oh, and that grumpy receptionist just realized her cat figurine is missing and she's out for blood (no pun intended).

Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter, read up kiddies!

Twilight is not mine, I would like to say it was, but Stephanie Meyers is the all mighty creator. Seriously, I think she might have started a new religion-we don't have actual churches yet, but we're getting there.

* * *

Chapter song: Not Good Enough for Truth in Cliche by Escape the Fate

Sitting in this room playing Russian roulette,

Finger on the trigger to my dear Juliet,

Out from the window see her back drop silhouette,

This blood on my hands is something I cannot forget,

I snapped my phone shut and mourned the loss of its distraction. As soon as my conversation with Edward ended, I was forced to face the overwhelming catastrophe that was happening just behind the thin shield of that damn blue curtain. There was nothing I could do; I didn't know anything about medicine and I would just distract the professionals if I tried to get inside the curtain to be by Luke's side.

I paced back and forth in a trance, if it wasn't for the fact that I could see the tiled floor passing beneath my feet I probably wouldn't have even realized I was moving. This was all my fault-I never should have kissed him-now he was in pain. Of course he had been in pain even before the kiss, but this didn't stop me from blaming myself. For him, I would take all the blame in the world, I would take all the pain in the world if I could. I would take his place in that hospital bed without a second of hesitation. Anything for him, anything to save him, and even though it was against everything I stood for, I would even turn to the Cullen's to do it.

I guess I should have been surprised at my sudden change in attitude, but I couldn't seem to find room in my thoughts to fit indecision. I hated vampires, they were the reason my life was the way it was, they were the reason I was so unhappy. But they were the reason for Luke.

I had no reason for my hatred anymore; before I hated them because they took away the most important thing in my life, but now they replaced it with something so much more. If they did not exist, then I would be with Sam, but even though I would have given anything to make that happen a mere hour ago...now it wasn't enough. Now that I had seen Luke, I had smelled Luke, I had tasted Luke, I could never imagine going back to Sam. It was like I had been living on hamburgers my entire life; I loved them because I didn't know any better, but then someone had tossed me a steak and I could never go back to loving hamburgers the same way again.

_Oh my god...I'm comparing Luke and Sam to food...that's weird right? Yeah that's weir_d.

I realized that my pocket was vibrating after some amount of time. I looked down at the small screen and realized I had missed four calls from Seth. Crap, I had forgotten about Seth, he was probably worried about me, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. Seth was healthy and whole; Luke was not. It was clear that I was needed here, so Seth would have to wait.

As this thought flitted through my head I realized that this was something that had never happened since Seth was born. I never kept Seth waiting, not when he truly needed something, since the day my brother had entered this world he had been the most important thing in my life. Even when I had been with Sam. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for Seth-I would cross the ocean if it would make him happy, or fight a million leeches to protect him-and that hadn't changed. The only difference was that now there was someone else that I felt that way about. Seth was now a second priority.

As if my thoughts had called out to my brother on some subconscious level, I heard his wildly thumping heart racing towards me before I saw his head appear in the doorway. He sighed in relief and gave me a disapproving glare.

"There you are Leah!" he chastised, "I'v been looking everywhere for you! It's a good thing I know your scent so well or I would have never found you here. Why didn't you come back with the food? Paul's practically chewing the leather off the seats in the waiting room."

"Seth-"

I was cut off by the appearance of the tiny, angry nurse that had brushed passed me in the hall.

"Miss, you need to tell us what you were doing in here before this happened," she gestured seriously towards Luke's bed.

"Oh, uh...I-I'm a friend of Luke's and I was visiting him," I lied nervously. I don't think she bought it.

"Anything else?" she prompted eyeing me suspiciously.

"Well..." I paused and debated whether or not to tell her about the kiss. It was embarrassing to talk about it with Seth here, but on the other hand it could help Luke if the doctors knew exactly what had caused his episode. Eventually my concern for Luke won the battle.

"He asked me to kiss him, so I did, and then he just started coughing and he wouldn't stop," I explained desperately as I cringed at the disturbing memory of his uncontrollable fit.

I felt Seth stiffen at my side and turn his head to stare at me in disbelief, I ignored him.

_I mean seriously, give me a break, just because I'm your sister doesn't mean I'm asexual..._

The nurse gave me a searching glare, "well, I wouldn't suggest doing that again and I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave for today. Visiting hours are over."

I nodded, grabbed Seth by the arm and towed him out the door. It pained me to leave Luke, like I was leaving a piece of me behind, but I would be able to come back later. Besides, if I resisted I would probably be banned from the hospital.

"What the hell Leah!" Seth slapped my hand away and turned to me fiercely once we were a significant distance away from the room, "You don't know that guy! Why were you kissing him?!"

I gaped at him for a few seconds and then decided that it would be easier to just come out with it, "Seth...I imprinted."

Just as I expected, he was speechless, his mouth hung open and his eyes were so wide it was almost comical. I could have sworn I heard his mind exploding inside his skull. I sighed and pulled him into a storage closet to our left, it was roomier than I had imagined and Seth was able to comfortably collapse on the floor.

"Fuck...holy...fuck," was all he was able to mumble.

"Seth, you're like four, don't say fuck. That word is for big boys only," I scolded.

"I'll say what I want," he snapped and wrapped his arms around his knees as he shook his head from side to side in disbelief.

"It's not that big of a deal," I knelt down beside him and tried to bring him back to reality, "I mean Jake, Quil, Paul, they all did it. Even Sam."

At the mention of Sam's name his head snapped up and I could tell that his mind had finally recovered, "Leah, don't try and tell me this isn't a big deal! I'm not blind, I can read, that guy was terminal!"

"What are you talking about Seth," I hissed and tried to play dumb, but I was positive that he had heard the panic in my voice.

"Leah," he said condescendingly, "that ward we just came from was the cancer ward and there was a DNR sticker on his door. He's dying Leah, and death...death is a big deal."

He looked away from me and his eyes grew dark and sad as we both took a moment to remember our father. If Seth missed him even a fraction as much as I missed him, then it was enough to bring him close to tears. My father-our father-had died. When he left he took a piece of my heart with him, never to be replaced, only to be healed over with time. Scarred.

My heart was damaged. Damaged by love, love for my father, love for Sam, always love. And here I was again, being held at gunpoint by the most wicked of all indulgences. I loved Luke and I could only imagine what he would take him when he left, if there would be anything left to scar when he was gone. It already felt as though he held half of my heart captive and I could only guess that the rest would follow him into the afterlife.

Seth wiped his nose with his sleeve as I slumped against the wall beside him, but I couldn't stand to look at him. I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders. I had known Luke was dying since the moment I had seen it on his chart, heck he had even admitted he was dying, but hearing come from Seth's mouth somehow made it final.

"You've always been there for me, I don't know if I'll be able to get you through this, but I'll try...do you want to stay with him until he...until it happens?"

It took me a moment for me to realize what he was talking about and then it hit me. He was talking about Luke dying and suggesting that I just sit there and watch it happen! Oh hell no! Didn't he know me better than to think that I was actually going to let anything-even death-beat me at something?

"It's not going to happen."

"Leah," he murmured sympathetically as though I was in denial, "He's going to die."

"No he's not...I called Edward," I said stubbornly. Again I felt him stiffen by my side as he understood what I was willing to do. What I was planning to do...

"You can't do that it's against our laws!" he exclaimed.

"Edward turned Bella," I insisted.

I took a moment to explore the irony of my argument; I remembered that this simple statement was something that had once brought me close to explosion. The idea of a dirty stinkin vamp biting someone on our turf, not even just someone, it was one of our own. Bella had been to the rez, she had practically lived with us during her whole Victoria scare and not to mention that she and Jacob had been attached at the hip.

But then_ he_ came back and he took Bella away from us.

It wasn't that I missed Bella-we had never exactly been friends-but I knew the path she would choose as soon as soon as she came back from Italy hand-in-hand with her leech. I knew before even Jake knew. He was in denial, he thought he could make her change her mind. He thought he could keep her heart beating, but I knew he was wrong.

He told her once that he would rather see her dead than a see her become a vamp, and at the time I couldn't have agreed with him more, but now...now I disagreed. Jake had never imprinted on Bella, he had fallen in love, but not imprinted. His love was selfish, he wanted Bella for himself and he wanted her in the way that was best for him.

I-on the other hand-had imprinted. I no longer cared that vampires were my sworn enemies; the fact that asking Carlisle to save Luke would make him one of them, did not matter. As long as Luke was still breathing-in a matter of speaking-anything else would be fine with me. I didn't care about loving him in the way that was best for me, I cared about loving him in the way that was best for him. And what was best for him was to keep him alive.

_Looks like club Leech is gettin another member,_ I sighed to myself. Seth just groaned as he recognized my "I'm determined to do this" face.

"Even if Edward did change Bella that's hardly an excuse for what you're doing. With Bella it was different because she wanted it to happen, it was the only way to save her, but this guy doesn't know what it will be like. He doesn't even know things like us exist! You can't just go and change him. Sam will never allow it...it'll start a war."

I snapped my head and gave him a murderous stare, "If Sam hadn't left me this never would have happened Seth, this is partly his fault. He broke my heart, he doesn't get to decide how I put it back together. He doesn't get to decide anything about my life anymore."

Seth took me by both my shoulders and stared into my eyes, "It's not just about you! What if he doesn't want to be turned? What about all the people that will be in danger when he's a newborn?"

"I-I'll tell him, I'll give him the choice, and if he is changed...then I'll take care of it, he'll be my responsibility."

"He could kill you!" he practically shouted.

"I don't care," I said robotically. My life no longer held any meaning without him; I would sacrifice everything to make sure that he simply existed. Even if it was only a vague, sorry excuse for an existence that I could offer him.

"Well I care!" he scoffed, "What about me and mom? He's probably ready to die Leah-he's prepared-but we're not prepared to lose you, I'm not prepared to lose you...I love you too much."

"I know Seth, I know, but he's not ready to die!" I sniffed as tears threatened to spill down my cheeks once again, "He doesn't think there is anything waiting for him after! I can't let him die when he thinks that it ends right then and there! I can't let him die when he thinks that his life was all just some cruel, pointless game...I can't."

If there was one thing that made my decision to try and change Luke final, it was this. Some people saw death as the beginning of a new journey, but Luke literally saw a dead end. I could not allow him to die when he had no hope for something more, I could not allow him to die period.

I looked over at Seth, but his face was unreadable. His expression was blank and his eyes refused to meet mine, all he needed was time. I hoped all he needed was time.

My phone was buzzing again and Edward's name lit up the screen. Wow that was fast, they must have run here. I had forgotten that they were almost as fast as we were.

"Are you here?" I asked into the receiver as I pulled myself to my feet and exited the closet in an attempt to get better reception.

"Yes, where are you? Are you okay?" his smooth, but urgent voice responded.

"Follow the green signs and take the green elevator to the fourth floor," I instructed since I knew that telling him I was by a storage closet somewhere near the cancer ward was not exactly helpful.

"Are you okay?" he repeated firmly, "Is Seth okay?"

"We're fine," I lied hastily and tried not to think any contradictory thoughts seeing as I didn't know if he could hear my mind over the phone or not, "and there are a lot of bleeding people here, so no stopping for a snack, got it leech?"

He chuckled weakly and I heard the line go dead. Even I couldn't bring myself to show any enthusiasm at my little joke as I grabbed Seth from the floor and walked back towards the maternity ward.

As we reentered the waiting room adjacent to the green elevators, Edward and Carlisle stepped out looking thoroughly confused. I had never been so happy to see them in my life; thank god it was cloudy outside today...

I tried to keep my thoughts away from Luke, I wanted to explain the situation to them carefully instead of having Edward find out everything at once and start freaking out. I decided to think about Rachel and her babies and babies in general, which wasn't hard seeing as I was surrounded by diapers and pictures of teddy bears.

"Leah, are you...are you pregnant?" Edward gasped as he read my mind. It was a good thing I was holding on to Seth or he probably would have fallen face first to the ground.

"Seth, get a grip," I rolled my eyes and then glared at Edward, "and no I am not pregnant! Where would I even get pregnant? Constantly patrolling around your stupid house doesn't exactly leave me much time for a social life you know."

"Well, what would you have me think when all I can see are packages of Pampers and baby formula going through your head?" he spat back and crossed his arms.

"I was obviously trying to keep you outta my head so that I can have a normal, two-sided conversation with you," I sneered back, "do you know how annoying it is having someone know what you're going to say before you say it? So, for once you're just going to have to be in the dark, suck it up!"

His eyes burned black and he stepped angrily towards me as though he was going to start shouting, but doctor leech intervened and must have calmed him down with his thoughts.

"Leah, is there something you would like to tell us, like perhaps why you've called us here?" he asked in a calm, gentle tone.

"Yes," I said stubbornly while still glaring at Edward.

"Why don't we go somewhere a little more private then," he suggested and gestured towards a hospital room that he must have sensed as being vacant.

I nodded and followed him and Edward into the room, closing the door behind me. Seth collapsed into a chair and started muttering to himself, Billy and Paul must have been with Rachel.

_Poor kid, he really is gonna need therapy after all this shit_, I thought. Edward gave me an exhausted look.

_Hey, Jasper wouldn't happen to have a PhD in psychology would he? I mean, he's so touchy feely, he might as well be Dr. Phil anyway,_ I asked as I turned to face him.

"Jasper hates Dr. Phil," Edward smirked despite his attempts to remain perpetually moody.

"What! How can he hate Dr. Phil?"

* * *

End Notes:

So there you have it folks, if you thought Juliet had it rough, then just think of poor Leah.

Please review!!! Unlike Leah, I am not above begging, so (puts on sad face) tickety-tap on your key board and write a word or two.

Oh, and keep reading, I hope you like it so far!

* * *


	5. Dr Dracula has a Conscience? Who Knew?

* * *

**Chapter Notes:**

Leah is about to go head to toe with Edward and Carlisle. She has to convince them that it's her way or the highway...can she do it? I don't know I guess you'll just have to read and find out...

And by the way, I don't own Twilight, but you knew that.

* * *

Chapter Song: Reverse this Curse by Escape the Fate

_One last chance to reverse this curse,_

_You stole my heart but I had it first._

_And now I see you've got something to prove,_

_And nothing to lose, so let me tell you the truth_

"Leah, my brother's preference for celebrity doctors is neither here nor there," Edward chastised impatiently, "now can you please get on with it, we may live forever, but that does not necessarily mean we have time to waste."

A vision of Bella and Edward locked in a very close embrace flashed through my mind and I could automatically guess what Edward deemed a more enjoyable way to be spending his time.

_Man, how much sex do you and Bella have? You two must go at it like rabbits..._

Edward's eyes bulged and he sputtered a bunch of incoherent nonsense; it would have been quite funny had he not been looking at me like he might actually be considering separating my head from my shoulders.

"I'm getting rather tired of diffusing my son," Carlisle said as he gave Edward a stern look and then turned back to me, "please tell us why we are here Leah."

Yeah, yeah, I rolled my eyes, but took a deep breath in preparation for a long and grueling conversation.

"So, I asked both of you here because I've sort of imprinted," I rushed to say before my resolve left me.

They looked at each other briefly and then returned their confused stares back to me. Edward looked annoyed, like this was all some huge unnecessary disruption, but Carlisle was determined to be patiently polite.

"That's wonderful Leah, but I'm sorry, I don't see why this concerns us," Carlisle said apologetically, "You could have just have just told us over the phone, I don't understand why you've asked us here."

I took a deep breath and sighed, "I asked you here because my imprinting is...well, it's complicated," I said for lack of a better word, "I knew that Edward would be the only one who could really understand what the whole imprinting process is like for us and that you would be the only one that could help me fix my uh...complication."

Edward's annoyance waned and Carlisle simply smiled and encouraged me to go on. The only problem was that I didn't know how to continue. There was simply too much to tell; Luke's scent, how important he was to me, the extent of my devotion to him, the fact that he was dying from cancer...

_Oh shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Now Edward knows!_

I looked at him hesitantly and expected to see outrage, but there was something else, something...sappy? That was the only word I could use to describe the way his eyes seemed to rest on me, and boy was it was aggravating! Why the hell was the bloodsucker looking at me with puppy dog eyes!

Does he think I'm pathetic for asking for their help? Who was HE to judge me for being pathetic! I mean, wasn't that kind of like the pot calling the kettle black? But wait...this was something different. He didn't think I was pathetic, I-I think he felt bad for me. Even after all the contempt I had shown for him and his family, he still felt compassion for me? But why? I didn't deserve it...

"I have experienced what it's like to think the most important thing in your world is going to be taken from you...it is more pain than anyone should ever have to feel," he said quietly, "I'm sorry for shouting at you before, it was rude."

Oh, that's right. Bella's pregnancy thing. Her disastrous pregnancy that, not only very nearly killed her, but that very nearly got us all killed as well. I had seen the pain in his eyes...the burning man...now I was the one burning. We should start a club.

"Uh...thanks Edward," I said stunned.

Carlisle asked a silent question to his son and Edward looked to me for permission to tell him. I didn't think I had the ability to tell him myself at the moment seeing as my mouth had temporarily stopped working so, I nodded my head in consent.

"It seems that Leah has imprinted on a man inflicted with cancer. It doesn't appear to be treatable."

Carlisle looked sympathetically at me, but I could still see that he was confused as to why this concerned him. Of course he was a doctor, but this whole place was full of doctors. I wish they would just catch on so they wouldn't make me say it out loud, I didn't like the idea of whimpering out some sad, tear-jerking story and begging on my hands and knees for them to save my one true love. Even though Luke was my one true love, I would never refer to him that way, I was never one of those Romeo and Juliet kind of girls. Well at least I wasn't anymore...

I decided that it was time to use Edward's annoying gift to my advantage, I looked straight at him and let memories run through my head, like a theatrical summary of the past few hours of my life:

_I was calling Jake on the phone._

_Paul was hugging me outside of Rachel's room._

_I was mad because someone had put Edward's name in my phone-sorry about that._

_I almost crashed into the nurse, she was angry._

_I smelled him._

_I walked into his room and saw him._

_I imprinted._

_I learned that he had cancer._

_My life shattered into pieces._

_He woke up and he was so beautiful and perfect._

_He told me he was dying._

_We kissed._

_He was coughing._

_I realized I would do anything to save him even..._

Edward gasped.

"Please," I begged breaking away from the movie playing in my head, "it's the only way."

"Do you even realize what you are asking of us?" he said with his amber eyes widened in disbelief and shock.

"Of course I do!" I said almost hysterically, "Do you think I would ask if I didn't? Do you think I have any other choice?"

"There is another choice Leah-"

"No!" I yelled indignantly, "when Bella was dying, you would have done anything to save her! Her death was not an option and neither is Luke's! You couldn't live without her and I can't live without him, so either help me save him, or you can sign both of our death certificates! I'v already lost love once and I can't go through that again! I just can't..."

Edward flinched at the mention of Bella's near death pregnancy and for a split second I could see the pain and agony that I had once seen in his eyes as she lay broken and beaten on their living room sofa. That time in her life was strictly taboo; it was only mentioned reluctantly by Edward, but never by anyone else.

"What are you two talking about!" Carlisle finally shouted in alarm as our conversation turned suicidal.

Edward didn't take his wide eyes off of me as he spoke, it was almost as if he expected me to stop him at any moment and yell 'April Fools' or something, "Carlisle...she wants us to change the man she imprinted on, she wants us to make him one of us, a vampire."

Carlisle looked shocked, but did not respond immediately, his flawless, stone forehead furrowed in thought. From Edward's tone I had thought that my last hope was surely crushed. I had been positive that Carlisle would side with his son and leave me to fall to pieces right here and now in this room, but he was actually considering it! I barely dared to breathe as he thought things over in his head.

"Carlisle, think about what this could bring upon our family," Edward moaned in shock as his adopted father didn't immediately deny my request.

"Leah is part of our family Edward," he replied, "don't forget that she was once willing to sacrifice her life for your daughter, don't forget that if not for our existence, she would not be in this situation."

"Of course I haven't forgotten," he said taken aback as his brow furrowed as well. The two looked so alike with their faces strewed in concentration that one might have actually believed that they were indeed father and son and not creator and creation.

"Then we have our answer," Carlisle smiled gently.

"Carlisle," Edward tried to reason with him, "how can you decide this so quickly? It took months-years-for you to be sure about Bella. Even with Alice's visions, you weren't so easily swayed!"

"And that indecision haunted me until the moment Bella opened her eyes as one of us," he said sternly, "I watched you live in agony for so long after you left Bella, and then again with her pregnancy, that I couldn't help feeling it was all my fault. I used to think that if I had only changed her before you tried to run from her, that everyone's pain could have been avoided. Bella would have never experienced your abandonment and you would have never felt responsible for it-"

"Carlisle, please," Edward flinched as though being reminded of this physically hurt him.

"Let me finish Edward," he held up his hand and continued when Edward offered no further resistance, "I was so sure that I was to blame for everything that the guilt almost destroyed me. I watched Bella grow weaker and weaker from the pregnancy that would not have been possible had I changed her before you were able to consummate your relationship and I damned myself for my mistake. Of course I now know that it was fated to be this way, that without my indecision Renesmee would have never graced our lives, but I also know that I have learned from my experience. I will never hesitate again Edward; if this is what her human wants, then I will not deny him the opportunity to join our family."

"And what about Renesmee?" Edward almost growled, "She is part human! Her mother may have been born with extraordinary self control, but there is no way to know if this Luke will be anything less than a blood crazed newborn. He could hurt her!"

"I believe that Bella's restraint can be largely contributed to her knowledge of our lives before her transformation, and perhaps we can take steps to...prepare Luke as well," Carlisle said thoughtfully and rubbed his chin in a very human like gesture.

"What if that is not enough?" Edward insisted, "I will not leave my daughter's safety up to chance!"

"Then there is a whole coven ready to fight and protect her! Not to mention one very capable and devoted wolf," he said almost angrily. Edward recoiled like a small boy being scolded and went silent.

He remained in quiet thought, the only person in this room whose thoughts were in fact quiet, and finally nodded once.

"So are you gonna help or not?" I demanded with a little more force than I intended. So far I felt very un-included in a conversation that I was pretty sure I had a big part in.

"Yes, we will change him, but he has to know what he will be changing into," Carlisle turned to me, "it must be his choice, I will not force this life on him."

I nodded, "I know, I was going to tell him anyway."

"Good, because I think you should speak to him before we propose anything," he added, "tell him what you are, tell him how you feel and tell him there is a way to spare his life. After that, if he is still willing to talk to us, I will explain the rest."

Once again I nodded, "when do visiting hours start? The nurse said I couldn't talk to him again until it was visiting hours again and I want to do this as soon as possible."

"Leah, we don't have to wait," Carlisle chuckled, "After all I am a doctor, I will simply tell the nurses that he called me for a second opinion, no one will be any the wiser."

"Oh right," I mumbled, "I forgot you came with a white coat and stethoscope."

I heard Edward chuckle at my comment as we vacated the unoccupied room, fortunately he seemed to be a little warmer towards the situation with Carlisle's reassurance. I had never been so thankful for the existence of vampires. I would never call them bloodsuckers or leeches again if it meant that Luke would be okay.

"Don't make promises you aren't willing to keep," Edward smirked.

"Well, maybe I'll just call you leech," I rolled my eyes, "you know, for old times sake."

"Only if I can still call you dog," he shrugged.

"Deal," I smiled, "I'd say let's shake on it, but I just washed my hands and I don't wanna get your leech stank all over 'em."

"I see," he smiled wryly, "I'll try and keep my 'stank' to myself."

"I'd appreciate it."

* * *

**End Notes:**

She's got the vamps on her side, but what about Luke?

Up next: Tons and tons of Leah and Luke angsty drama with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Eat up.

And Review!!! I love reviewers and their reviews-they feed my ego and keep my fingers at the keyboard-so really it's a win-win situation.

* * *


	6. Pivotal Point Here, People Wish Me Luck

* * *

**Chapter Notes:**

Who is afraid of the big bad wolf? Hopefully not Luke.

What is mine: One sickly, cancer riddled, dying man.

What is Stephanie Meyers': Everything else.

* * *

Chapter Song: You're Not Alone by Saosin

You're not alone

There is more to this I know

You can make it out

You will live to tell

My hand hesitated above the door handle to Luke's room, Carlisle had told his lie and it was all systems go. Project, "save Leah's boyfriend by turing him into a bloodsucking freak," had been given the green light and I was shaking in a mixture of fear, anxiousness and...well more fear.

What if Luke rejected me? He had no idea that the world was any more than what he had been told, he had never guessed that monsters waged a secret war just beyond the eyes of men. I had imprinted on someone who couldn't possibly know anything about what I was planning to reveal to him.

With Sam, Paul and Jared, their objects of affection had grown up hearing the stories of the cold ones and the spirit warriors that protected their people. They knew that the wolves were the guardians-the good guys-so when their men had transformed in front of them, they knew not to be afraid. Even Renesmee was born to accept her little freak of a boyfriend without a moment's hesitation, after all she was a freak herself. But Luke would see me as a monster. A danger. A threat.

I had once been told that imprinting was the werewolves' way of preserving our bloodlines, finding the egg and sperm with the best chance to pass on the mutant genes in our blood, but I now knew without a doubt that they had been wrong. My very existence proved them wrong; a girl werewolf who could not menstruate was a werewolf that could not reproduce. If species preservation was truly the purpose of imprinting, then I should not be have been able to imprint at all. There was no offspring in my future, no pitter patter of little future werewolf feet, so this could not be why we imprinted.

As protectors we had no time and no reason for love. We would only risk rejection and exposure if an attempt to include a significant other in our secret lives went horribly awry, and besides, love only distracted us from our obligations to the tribe. If we were not forced into love, we would never seek it out ourselves. It was an impossible task to try and find someone who you loved and who would in turn love and accept you for the terrifying creature that you were. Only Jacob had proven to be the exception to my theory, but his circumstances were...complicated.

_Hmmm, well, what do ya know. Me and the big idiot had something in common after all, go figure_.

So maybe, just maybe, imprinting was not for species preservation, but for self preservation. Some people claim that they don't need another half to make them whole, but when Sam left me, I had never felt more empty in my life. Being with another person, our other person, made us stronger. It gave us a reason to run faster and fight harder, it gave us a reason to go on. And so, we would remain hollow and unloving until the perfect individual, our soul mate, crossed our path and forever changed our existence. Fate's way of giving something back after taking complete and utter control over our lives.

For this reason I had to believe that Luke would not turn me away, that we were meant to be and that he would not run when he found out what I truly was. I had to believe that somehow fate had chosen him because he was going to be able to accept me, all of me, every single part. I had never placed much trust in fate before, in fact I had never really even believed that it existed, but as my hand reached for the metal handle separating me from Luke, I couldn't help but to hold onto fate with every ounce of my being.

I started as I felt something ice cold touch my bare skin; it was Edward. He had placed a comforting, but freezing hand on my shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze as if to reassure me like he had done to Bella the day before. I gave him a weak smile, mentally reminded him that I would have to take an eight hour shower to get rid of his smell and I took a deep breath before pushing the door open.

"Take your time," Carlisle smiled.

"I got all the time in the world, right doc?" I sighed as I quietly shut it behind me.

I stood facing the door for a few more seconds and simply enjoyed inhaling the intoxicating aroma that saturated every corner of the room. I wanted to enjoy it as much as possible before it was replaced with the sickly sweet smell of vampire, before the last traces of human left him. But for now, he was human and his scent calmed me like a sedative, my nerves relaxed and everything was right in that moment. It didn't matter that Luke was still sick and dying, all that mattered was that I was with him again. I was whole, it was like I had left a piece of myself with him and only now was it being returned. My heart-however scared and torn-was whole.

As I gasped from the overwhelming sense of release I remembered-of all people-Bella. I had once seen her in Jacob's thoughts as she clutched her sides in pain. When Edward had moved away from Forks she was destroyed; anytime she was reminded of him she broke down as though her heart might actually give way. I had thought she was weak; if I could survive Sam leaving me, then she could survive Edward leaving her. After all, everything that he had promised her, Sam had once promised me. Love, a future, eternity-it was all said and all taken away. But I kept going. I cried in private and put on a brave face for everyone one else. My pain was my burden and I didn't want anyone's sympathy.

But, though I believed her to be weak, I also remembered feeling empathy; when I saw Bella shaking with grief, I thought I had finally found someone that knew my secret struggle. I felt connected to her in away that was too personal for me to actually express, but her pain was only temporary. Edward returned and her promises were again promised, her heart was healed. Mine was not. My pain seemed eternal, an endless journey down a path that lead to nowhere. My Edward would not return-Sam was never coming back.

My heart was forever broken, or so I thought, but now I wasn't so sure. As I was reunited with Luke, I couldn't help but to feel fixed as well. Bella's pain ended when her love returned, but mine ended when I found love again.

_Wow, who needs Sam? Not me! Take that endless journey down a path that leads to nowhere and flush it -- looks like I just found a detour!_

I pivoted where I stood and instantly Luke's form drew my gaze.

How could anyone look so beautiful after nearly coughing to death just a few short hours before? His chest rose and fell while he slept peacefully beneath the hospital standard blanket and I couldn't help but be fascinated by him. I shook my head slightly to bring me out of my Luke induced stupor and gathered my resolve.

I walked as quietly as I could-which was very quiet seeing as I was a freak of nature-to his bed side and pulled a chair over to sit down. Waiting for him to wake up, waiting for him to let me save him, was excruciating. I wanted to hear his voice, see his brilliant blue eyes and feel his soft, warm skin before it was too late. Soon he would have to make a choice, and what ever his decision was, I knew that those things would disappear forever.

If he chose to remain human, then his decision was to die. Death would silence him, it would steal the light from his eyes and make his body cold and unmoving. If he chose me, then his decision was life-or-something-like-it. Un-death would distort his voice into something more than human, replace ocean blue with blood red, and make him frigid and unmovable. Either way he would be changed-never the same man that I now saw before me-but there was no middle ground. He would change. Period. No exceptions.

I wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of my hand and he stirred. He smiled in his sleep and rolled over so that his face was crushing my hand.

"Oi! Get off you big oaf," I rolled my eyes and he blinked himself awake as I retracted my hand from under his scruffy cheek. His eyes focused on my face and the corners of his mouth curled into a weak smile.

"Did it hurt?" he mumbled groggily into his pillow.

"Did what hurt?" I asked cocking an eyebrow. He was the one that almost coughed to death, why would he think it was my health that needed monitoring?

"When you fell from heaven?" he said huskily and turned his weak smile into a smug grin.

I rolled my eyes, "you're in desperate need of some new material."

"Can I have your material?" he smirked.

"That doesn't even make sense!" I exclaimed.

"Sure it does," he argued with a mischievous look in his eyes, "basically it means take off your clothes."

"Well...normally I wait until the third date to go buck wild, but what the hell," I stood up and made to lift the hem of my dress. I looked at Luke's completely stunned expression and sat back down giving him a disapproving glare, "you didn't really think I was that easy did you?"

"No, of course not," he said clearing his throat and looking thoroughly disappointed.

"Ugh, get your mind out of the gutter," I sighed.

"You're the one that put it there," he shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah," I rolled my eyes again, "so, how's hospital life been without me?"

"Horrible, they tried to get me to eat the meatloaf and believe me, it's so bad even the meatloaf hates the meatloaf," he shuddered dramatically and pointed to the lidded tray on his left, "I was waiting for you to come and hand feed me my pudding, but I was beginning to think I scared you away for good."

"You're not that scary," I laughed.

"Don't let the whole sickly charade fool ya," he yawned, "I'm a terrifying monster."

What an interesting choice of words, if irony were a person, right now he was just showing off.

"That makes two of us," I mumbled to myself and sighed. I felt his hand brush the side of my face gently.

"Smile, beautiful, you should be happy you get to lay your eyes on all this again," he said gesturing up and down the length of his body.

"I thought I told you to stop calling me beautiful," I growled raising my eyebrow in annoyance. He just laughed and shook his head.

"I'll stop callin' you beautiful when you stop being so beautiful," he shrugged.

"Whatever," I retorted and noticed with some confusion that I was still able to be irritated with him.

Any imprinted individuals I had ever witnessed were completely and utterly entranced by their mates; nothing was too much, or too annoying, or too loud for them to love. Jake was never angry with Renesmee and Quil would allow Claire to hit him in the face with a barbie for hours on end if it made her happy. So why did I still feel aggravated by the simple fact that he wouldn't honor my request? Why was my imprinting different from that of my pack brothers?

Could it be because they were men and I was a woman? There had never been another female werewolf before me so, there wasn't exactly a handbook for this sort of thing, but it made sense. Men and women are so different that it would only be logical that they would be affected differently by certain things. I mean for a man it was perfectly acceptable to be infatuated with everything about his girl-you know chivalry and all that shit-but for women it was another story.

If a woman followed around a guy, studying everything he did, obsessing over every little detail, it was just creepy. People would probably think she was a crazy stalker because that's just not how girls are supposed to act around boys. Women-as anti feminist as it sounds-were supposed to be fawned over, not men. It was a girls duty to act as a source of reason, a support system and to remind their guy that he should worship the ground she friggin walked on. It was a boy's job to do the worshipping.

"Oh, come on now, I know you're still in shock from my mind blowing kissing skills, but don't worry you can have another go. Just give me a chance to recharge my batteries," Luke said, interrupting my inner monologue.

I smiled despite myself and hit him playfully on the arm. Although I was able to be upset with Luke it seemed that I didn't have to power to stay upset. Before he could even ask for forgiveness, he was forgiven. He was just too...adorable I guess, but whatever it was that made me so crazy about him, all I knew was that I never wanted this to end. Just talking with him, joking among friends who are just a little bit more than friends, but I knew that once he realized what I really was there would be no more friendly banter. Any conversation would either be filled with impossible questions or horrified screams.

"As tempting as that offer is, I think we should talk first."

"About what babe? Fire away," he grinned expectantly at me.

"About us," I mumbled and couldn't help the faint grimace that washed over my face as the impending conversation drew closer and closer.

He looked confused, "what's there to talk about? I mean, I like you and all, but I'm not really gonna be around long enough to take you on a date or anything."

"I know," I said sadly, "that's not what I mean."

"Then, what's on your mind, beautiful?"

I looked at him, desperately trying to convey the importance of what I was about to reveal, in my gaze. He stared back with his head cocked to the side and his expression full of curious concern.

"I'm about to show you something that you're going to think is impossible," I started and held up my hands in defense, "but you have to promise me that you won't freak out until you let me explain things to you, okay?"

He nodded without hesitation and lifted himself, with some difficulty, into an attentive sitting position. He looked like some over eager school student. I gave him a wary glance before slowly pushing my chair away from me and going to stand at the foot of his bed.

"Just promise you won't start screaming," I said sheepishly biting my bottom lip anxiously.

He rolled his eyes, "Just get on with it, I'm not gonna scream, this isn't pediatrics."

I took another deep breath and gave him one last meaningful look before turning so that my back was to him. My shaky fingers slowly found the cotton of the dress against my skin and pulled the straps down my arms, letting the clothing drop to the floor and pool around my feet. Luke's confused and extremely shocked eyes followed my every movement as I turned to face him.

I clutched my naked breasts as I stood completely and utterly exposed in front of him. I couldn't help but blushed as I saw him take in my appearance. This was not exactly how I would have like for him to first see me naked, but there was no way I was going to be able to excuse myself into the bathroom and step back out as a giant wolf. Luckily he seemed to sense the totally non-sexual nature of the situation and made no comment, quickly returning his eyes to mine. Though I heard-with some satisfaction-his heart rate monitor beep louder and more frequently in the background.

His eyes were ice blue as they bore into my very being and I stared into them as my skin began to shake uncontrollably. I could feel the heat rise within me and threaten to consume me, but before it could overwhelm my body, I exploded.

Such a violent explosion was accompanied with only a small pop that did not seem to fit the transformation. I didn't dare to blink in fear that if he lost my eyes for even one moment that he would forget that the giant grey wolf that stood before him was actually a girl.

Obviously, he was shocked. His heart rate monitor spiked to new heights and his hands grasped the sides of the bed for support, but his eyes did not leave mine and he did not scream. I watched his condition for a few moments while he collected himself; I wanted to make sure that I hadn't literally scared him to death. After awhile his breathing was somewhat normal and I whimpered once in the most pathetic and un-terrifying whimper I could muster. His disbelief waned and he relaxed just a fraction, his hands releasing their grip on the sheets.

"L-Leah?" he stammered his eyes narrowing as though this was all some horrible optical illusion.

I lowered my head and whimpered once again. His mouth opened and closed wordlessly for a few seconds before finally deciding to remain hanging. So now he knew; I was a monster, I was a freak and he was scared. I saw it in his eyes. However, he had not screamed, he had not ordered me away, and though he hadn't accepted me just yet, he was tolerating me. So, maybe there was something to all this fate talk after all, huh, talk about ironic. This day was just full of irony, geez.

I changed back and pulled my dress hastily over my exposed skin. Luke's eyes looked slightly out of focus when I chanced a quick look over at him.

So, I was a fully clothed human again, standing patiently at the foot of my dying soul mate's bed while his eyes stared blindly at an indiscernible point in front of him. He was thinking. I was going crazy. He hadn't said one word, not one word, for two whole minutes and thirty-three-now thirty-four-seconds. I would have been glad to be the first one to talk, but I was afraid that if I made any sudden noises or movements, he would jump through the ceiling and up into the fifth floor.

"Jesus Christ Leah!" he managed to gasp as he ran his fingers through his hair, "I thought you were about to give me an anatomy lesson and then, POOF! There goes the hot naked girl and there's a giant wolf staring at me!"

He was talking to me, he wasn't screaming and he wasn't passing out! I was so full of relief that you could have bottled that shit and sold it in nifty little twelve packs at Walmart.

"I told you I was going to show you something impossible," I sighed.

"Yeah, but how was I supposed to see THAT coming?" he exclaimed, gesturing in front of him at the empty air. His eyes had still not regained the ability to shift their focus.

"You weren't, that's why I showed you dumb ass," I scoffed, "if I just told you I could do that you wouldn't have believed me."

"A warning would have been nice," he laughed humorlessly and shook his head in disbelief.

"Yeah, shoulda, woulda, coulda," I waved my hand impatiently, "now, the way I see it you have one of two options here buddy; you can throw me out, or you can let me explain what just happened."

I put my hands on my hips and tried to look as though the first option wouldn't completely crush me into a deep and depressing abyss of despair. Now that Luke knew what I could do, I knew that those were the only two scenarios that would play out, and that there was only one that would leave us both alive at the end. He finally looked up at me, his blue eyes were dilated in shock and I didn't think I could handle one more second of not knowing whether or not the plan could continue into phase 2.

"Either these pain meds they got me on are top notch, or the whole world has gone to fuck," he muttered beneath his breath, "Alright then, beautiful, explain."

I had never been so happy that the world was going to fuck.

* * *

**End Notes:**

****

The world is indeed going to fuck, it's Y2K all over again, be prepared. And review, don't make me leave you hangin' on the cliff! (JK, I would never do that)

Up Next: Phase 2 begins...

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	7. Bloodsucker Bonding?

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**Author's Chapter Notes:**

So, basically phase two begins. Carlisle is talking to Luke and Leah is left with only Edward for company...yeah, things could get interesting.

Oh, and Stephanie Meyer owns the world...okay, not the world, just Twilight. Which is basically the world. So, never mind, I stand by what I said. Stephanie Meyer owns the world.

* * *

Chapter song: Bruised by Jacks Mannequin

_Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes_

_That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean_

_For it to feel like this_

_Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised_

I sat in the waiting room next to Edward and tried to keep myself from hyper ventilating. I played the conversation with Luke in my head over and over again, but I could make neither heads nor tails of it. His reactions could not tell me what his answer would be no matter how deeply I dissected them, they were too simple, too short, to vague. In fact, I had left most of the explaining to Carlisle-the bloody coward that I was-seeing as this was his area of expertise. He was the calm, cool and collected doctor, while I was the slightly psychotic werewolf who imprinted on a dying man and was slowly but surely going into shock and probably would mess the whole thing up and then the whole world and everyone in it would die! Calm down Leah, take a breath.

Truth was, I had barely been able to stumble over enough words to convince Luke to talk to Carlisle, he probably thought I was crazy in the attempt, but I didn't care because he had agreed to see him nonetheless...

_"What if there was a way to save you?" I stammered nervously._

_"What do you mean?" he asked me with confusion in his tired eyes, "don't tell me you've cured cancer," he chuckled._

_"No," I smiled weakly and sighed, "but what if there was a way...a way to keep you alive, even if it meant turning into some freaky supernatural thing like me, would you take it?"_

_I peaked up at his still form as he dove deep into thought. My heart stuttered, stumbled and stopped as I gripped his hand._

_"Yes."_

He had agreed, but he had know idea what exactly keeping him alive would entail. There was no guarantee that he wouldn't welcome death with open arms once he discovered the monster he would have to become. There was no guarantee that his answer would be the one I prayed to the spirits he would give.

It wasn't like me, to be unsure of what I was doing. I was always strong, steady, Leah. I was so stable I was practically a rock...no, maybe an ice queen was a better description...yeah, ice queen was probably more accurate. It's what the pack had been calling me since nearly day one, I had hated it, but I couldn't deny that I didn't deserve it. But now, I was beginning to defrost, I couldn't find a cold enough place in my heart to inflict the pain I had once dished out so willingly, even eagerly. And it was all because of Luke. His decision an his decision alone could keep the ice queen at bay or make her reign permanent and absolute.

Edward sat with me in silence, I had told him not to interfere in Luke's thoughts, I didn't think I could take the indecisive roller-coaster that would undoubtedly play through his head as Carlisle explained things to him. I saw Edward staring off into the distance as he twisted his wedding band absentmindedly between his fingers. I thought that this was an incredibly strange thing to do seeing as vampires very rarely did anything absentmindedly and I only could guess that he was thinking about her.

"Does it hurt?" I said quietly. I needed a distraction, anything would do, even talking to a brooding leech.

His head whipped around to face me as my words brought him crashing back to reality, "Does what hurt?"

This wasn't like him either, Edward never had to ask questions; just like I could always be counted on to be the spiteful and bitter girlie-wolf, Edward could always be counted on to have the answers. I expected that about him and it was almost annoying to have to repeat myself.

_Being away from her?_

Comprehension took over his features and he nodded, "More than you can imagine."

"I think I can imagine," I mumbled as I looked so intently at the door to Luke's room that I could have sworn I was trying to blast it away with my mind, _ugh who do I think I am anyway, Harry Potter? I'm going insane._

"I'm not ashamed to admit that I never pegged you as the love at first sight sort of woman Leah," Edward chuckled as he read my last thoughts.

"Me neither man, me neither," I said shaking my head slightly, "but then again it's not really love at first sight, it's more like...connection at first sight."

Edward gave me a searching stare and I knew he was perusing my thoughts for some explanation to the confusing description I had just given him. His eyes went slightly out of focus in what I assumed was concentration and then refocused looking a little dizzy. Apparently my mind was too jumbled at the moment for even a vampire to sort through.

"Would you care to explain what that means?" he mumbled as he rubbed his temples with his fingers.

"Well..." I hesitated. It's not that I didn't want to tell him, it was just that I didn't really know how to explain it myself. All I knew for certain was that when I first saw Luke, it wasn't love at first sight. There were no butterflies in my stomach, no harp playing cherubs throwing confetti into the air as they descended from the heavens, there was just a connection. It was like lightning striking your soul and leaving behind a bond instead of a burn.

But even though it wasn't love that was created when I first imprinted, the connection that was formed was so strong that I knew it could only lead to love. It was like the promise of love at first sight. I mean when Jacob first saw Renesmee he obviously didn't love her in a romantic way. He just felt a connection to her so strong, that it could only manifest itself in the way a parent feels about their child, because that was the most appropriate type of love she could receive.

At different points in our lives, certain types of love are more important than others. As a baby there is nothing stronger than the love between parent and child, as a child there is nothing stronger than the love between best friends and as young adults there is nothing stronger than the love between lovers. So, it was our inclination to fill whatever sort of love the person we imprinted on needed at that point in time...

"That makes a little more sense," he smiled gently. Okay, maybe his gift was good for something, at least I didn't have to try and transfer my thoughts into words.

"Well, what was it like for you and Bella?" I asked. From what I had seen, I was pretty sure that their love was even mushier and more gag-worthy than Emily and Sam's. Seeing them I had even wondered if vamps had some type of imprinting, maybe that's why Edward couldn't leave Bella alone, maybe he vamp-printed.

"No, it wasn't like that," he half-smiled at my invented word.

"Well, what was it like then? Did you casually go up to her and tell her she was the finest choice cutlet you had ever seen, because I know that I would find that incredibly flattering."

"No, but you're not far from the truth," he said darkly.

"What!" I exclaimed, "I thought you guys were veg! Are you trying to say that you almost ate Bella!"

"Drank," he corrected, "but yes."

"But...how...why!" I stuttered in disbelief. It was the only question I could think to ask.

"Her blood is...well, was...so much stronger to me than anyone else's," he explained in a pained sort of way, "it was so much harder to resist than any human I had ever come across. It was like I was a starving man faced with a five course meal when I first met her; I almost couldn't control myself."

He shuddered and his fingers continued to circle the golden ring upon his finger. I hesitantly placed my hand on top of his to prevent him from crushing the ring in agitation and he seemed to relax. I removed it as soon as I was sure he wasn't going to start fidgeting again.

Normally I probably would have found this new piece of information disturbing, normally I would have shouted and yelled at Edward for putting innocent human lives in danger and bladi-bladi-blah, but what did it matter now? He didn't eat her which meant that he obviously controlled himself-to some extent-even if it wasn't enough to completely stay away from her. I mean he practically stalked her before he married her, and impregnated her, and turned her into a vamp, but she was happy. That was the main thing right?

_Oh jeez, did I seriously care about Bella's happiness? I think I did. Great, now I'm going soft._

"I've never pegged you as the compassionate type either," he smiled, "but, then again, love changes us in unexpected ways."

"Yeah, I guess," I sighed. "You and me are sort of in the same boat, huh? Luke's like my Bella...only he's dying from cancer...not a freakish pregnancy...that would be weird if he was dying from a pregnancy..." I mumbled unable to shut up.

"Yes, indeed it would be," he chuckled humorlessly.

The laughter died and the silence resumed.

"Do you think he'll say yes?" I whispered in a shaky voice. Much shakier than I had meant to allow.

"I don't know..." his eyes lost focus for a moment and then slowly returned to me, "he's listening now, he's reserving his judgments for later it seems."

"Of course he is," I sighed and marveled at his enormous tolerance for the freaky supernatural.

"He has a very unique mind," Edward mused, "very direct and to the point, but not unintelligent. His thoughts are...deeper, complicated, it's hard to figure them out exactly. I suppose he's sort of like you, I could never really figure you out either."

"Yeah, I'm a freakin' puzzle," I sighed and slumped against my seat.

I saw Edward's deliberation, but I didn't understand it until his cold arm was wrapped cautiously around my shoulders. He had reached out and then recoiled for only a fraction of a second before deciding on his action and I didn't quite know what to make of it. I think...we were friends now-sort of, maybe, I don't really know-and this was his way of comforting me. Even if his arm was like sharp ice against my hot skin.

"Sorry," he apologized and immediately began to remove his arm.

"No, don't," I mumbled and leaned into his shoulder. It was nice to be consoled even if it was by a dirty stinkin' leech, "it's not so bad, the cold I can handle, the smell on the other hand..."

He laughed, "you should start getting used to it, if Luke decides to become one of us, he will smell like one of us, too."

"I know, I know," I rolled my eyes, "but love is a battlefield right?" I muttered.

"That's one way of putting it."

Hmmm, smell. Yeah, that change was going to suck rocks, but I knew this was going to be hard the moment I knew he was sick. I would miss his ocean scent, but was that really the worst change that he would undergo? Probably not, the uncontrollable blood lust would most likely top the list, but what else would change? Would he be so different that I wouldn't want him anymore? Would the imprinting die when his heart stopped beating? I didn't know and it scared me.

"As long as we're on the subject," I said as casually as possible, "what else will be different? I mean, what will he be like, if he...you know?"

I hadn't fooled Edward, he knew how desperately interested in this information I was despite my casual facade. Yeah, trying to fool a mind reader wasn't easy.

"I'm not sure," he said quietly, "most newborns are vicious and wild-it takes years before they can think of anything besides quenching their thirst. They have no personality, no mind of their own, they are complete slaves to the monster within. But, after Bella's transformation, I don't know what to expect. She was so controlled that she was barely different from her human self and we don't know if it was due to some strange gift she was born with, or because she knew what to expect before hand. If we explain things to Luke, perhaps he can skip the newborn phase as well."

"I know what newborns are like," I scoffed, "I ripped a couple to shreds a few months back, but I mean, what will the more permanent changes be like?"

He gave me a swift look of doubt, as if he couldn't believe that I was so quick to dismiss possibly the most disturbing and challenging part of creating a new vampire, but he quickly composed his emotions.

"To everyone it's different, we take to immortality in our own ways," he shrugged as if my dismissive behavior did not bother him, "for Rosalie, she changed almost completely. She had a perfect life, everything she ever wanted, and in becoming a vampire she sacrificed things she was not entirely willing to sacrifice, things she never imagined she would have to sacrifice. She used to envy no one, she used to have everything she could ever want within her grasp, but immortality robbed her of the only future she ever desired. Now she's bitter, almost self loathing, she remains Rosalie Hale only in name."

As I listened to Edward's description I couldn't help but think of the way I had changed after Sam had left me. Immortality had taken away everything I had ever wanted, too.

"Wow," I mumbled, "who knew Barbie had problems?"

"She plays her part convincingly, she has to, she's much too proud to want anyone's pity," he sighed.

"That's something I can understand," I murmured and felt slightly disgusted that I had just discovered so many things in common with Blondie. Then again, I had always had something in common with Rosalie, she was every bit as sterile as I was, and every bit upset about it as I was, too. Oh boy, we should get friendship rings and start planning sleepovers and shopping trips.

"Yes, you and Rosalie are more alike than either of you would ever like to concede," he said thoughtfully, "maybe that will say something for your mates as well."

"Let's not talk in riddles," I sighed as I shifted uncomfortably against his granite skin. His embrace was comforting, it kept the panic away, but it was like leaning against a lumpy, cold boulder. But, I would have to get used to it eventually, if I ever planned on getting near Luke after his change. Well, if, he was changed, "I've got no patience for that shit."

He gave me a disapproving glare for my improper language, but I paid him no mind. _It's the twenty-first century, people swear, get over it._

"I was just trying to explain that I see a few similarities between Rosalie's mate and your mate."

"You mean that big, dumb-a...ish one?" I said, wrinkling my nose in disgust.

"He prefers, Emmett, but I guess that description works as well," he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever, I don't see any similarities," I growled, shrugging off his arm and crossing my arms defiantly, "Luke is nothing like that filthy leech."

Edward just chuckled, "don't you think you might be a slight bit biased?"

"No," I huffed stubbornly.

"Just hear me out Leah Clearwater," he said exasperatedly, "Emmett was dying when Rose found him and begged Carlisle to spare his life, he has always been a strong man who was simply overcome by something more powerful than himself, and he is very direct and to the point. Can't all of those factors be applied to Luke as well? Not to mention the fact that they both seem to attract women of the supernatural nature..."

Ugh, when he put it that way, I guess I could see what he was talking about. Stupid, logical leech, stop being so...logical. I growled under my breath and relaxed my arms.

"All I was trying to suggest was that maybe Luke's transition into immortality could be compared to Emmett's."

"Okay, well, how exactly did Emmett handle it then?" I said through gritted teeth. This was obviously the question he had been wanting me to ask from the very beginning of his little Rosalie tale. Stupid mind-reader, he sure did know how to show off. _Oh, look at me, I can read minds! Watch me drag out my answers so into novel length stories and then beat around the edges for a few hours before I get to the point. You could have just told me that you thought Luke would turn out like Emmett right from the start! There wasn't really any need for the sympathetic Rosalie story was there? Stupid, unnecessary, life wasting, bloodsucker!_

"Are you done?" Edward said politely after giving me a few seconds to collect myself.

"Yeah, I think I'm good," I nodded.

"Can I finish my explanation now?"

"Please do."

Edward ran his fingers through his bronze hair and continued.

"So, Emmett," he said, "Emmett didn't really change at all. I mean besides from the obvious superhuman abilities, his new life was barely different from his old. He had no hopes or dreams to lose, his life had been mundane, average, and he welcomed the change without hesitation. His personality remained the same, but only because his outlook remained the same. Becoming a vampire was the best thing that ever happened to Emmett, according to him, becoming a vampire was the worst thing that ever happened to Rosalie, according to her."

"So, basically, you're saying that life is what we make it?" I looked at him with a seriously annoyed expression. This was all he was trying to say?

"I'm saying that as long as Luke welcomes his new life, like Emmett, there is no reason for his personality to change."

"You know, people tell me I'm annoying," I said, shaking my head, "but it looks like I've found my match."

Edward scoffed, "you asked for my opinion."

"Yeah, next time I should be more specific," I rolled my eyes, "like, please summarize in under 50,000 words."

"You're impossible."

"You're annoying!"

"Would you two please stop fighting?" an exasperated sigh interrupted our battle.

"Carlisle!" I exclaimed and jumped up with a speed unbefitting of a human.

Carlisle threw an unusually stern glare at his pouting son and then turned-with a kinder expression-to me. "Leah, Luke would like to see you."

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Well, what do you think? Will Edward's and Leah's weird friendship last, or will they just end up fighting to the death?

Review, merci beaucoup! (I took 3 years of french, I thought I should use it, lol)

* * *


	8. Corny Movie Lines are My Forte

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Chapter Notes:

Hey, guys, sorry 'bout the delay, x-mas (ahem, I mean holiday with no religious association) had me going a little crazy for awhile. Do you know how much snow Rochester received in just ONE day? 9 inches! Yeah, and do you know how hard it is driving and shopping for presents is when your car is fishtailing all over the place? Very hard! I would tell you about how many batches of fudge I made (*cough* seven *cough*) But I'm sure you're bored with my excuses.

So, without further ado, here is the next chapter. It's short and it's awesome, just like me.

So, yeah, Steph Meyers owns this everything including this new year (which happens to be my graduation year, woohoo, no more high school!) and of course, twilight. And my soul. I think I officially sold it to her sometime after I re-read all the books for the third time...

* * *

Chapter Song: You Found me by The Fray

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me

Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded

Why'd you have to wait?

Where were you? Where were you?

Just a little late.

You found me, you found me.

"L-Luke?" I stammered into the darkness as I closed the door behind me.

No response. My heart fell.

"Oh," I murmured my goodbye and turned back towards the door where I could successfully fall to pieces on the other side. Maybe the leech would take mercy on me and bite me. Painfully. Viciously. Tear out my flippin' throat.

"Wolf or girl," Luke's raspy voice called from behind the curtain shielding his face from my view.

"What?" I gasped as my hand that had been outstretched towards the door knob closed on unoccupied air. His voice was so beautiful and it tore at my heart like a clawing animal to know that I would probably never hear it again.

"Should I expect the wolf Leah, or the girl Leah," he sighed impatiently, "'cause I don't think I can take any more surprises today, maybe tomorrow, but today I'm fucking spent."

"You...you mean you still want to see me?" I said in utter astonishment. No, this was crazy. He couldn't possibly be willing to go along with this, as much as I wanted him to, this was c-r-a-z-y, too insane for even Luke to put up with.

He pulled back the curtain so that I could see his rolling eyes.

"Of course, beautiful, every single day of forever-or something like that," he chuckled with the air of someone who still hadn't gotten over the initial shock of some extravagant piece of information and was finding it difficult to take it seriously.

"So...does that mean..." I said with wide eyes. My very existence was perched precariously on the edge of a cliff and his answer could send me tumbling to the jagged rocks below or pull me back to safety.

"Just call me, Dracula, babe" he smiled.

I stood there for a minute just staring at him with my head cocked to the side and my mouth slightly agape. I tried to compose myself-I didn't really enjoy gaping like an idiot-but found that I was unable to move. And then something happened, a gear clinked into place and his words registered, and suddenly I was screaming and flinging myself onto his bed. He was going to live! He was going to stay! My throat wouldn't have to be ripped out! I should probably stop screaming because this was a hospital!

My horrifyingly girlie screams silenced and I just smiled down at him, took his face between my hands and repeatedly pecked every inch of skin my lips could reach. He chuckled as I continued to assault him and took his opportunity to snake his hand out from under the sheets and onto my backside. Typical.

I stopped kissing him and just rolled my eyes as his hand immediately dropped, but I wasn't angry. I was happy. So happy it was ridiculous. Nothing could ruin my happiness. He could grope me all he wanted and I wouldn't care.

"Does this reaction mean you'll still like me even after I'm a...thingy?" he said cocking an eyebrow, apparently he was having some difficulty saying the word vampire, as though he needed some fake teeth and a heavy Transylvanian accent to be permitted to speak it out loud. "Dr. Lady Killer said somethin' 'bout you and him being mortal enemies, so, are you still gonna want to kiss your mortal enemy?"

"Every single day of forever," I repeated and smiled as I planted one more kiss on his cheek.

He closed his eyes as my lips touched his face and didn't open until long after our contact was broken. When they did, they were confused. He looked up at me with a searching expression and seemed to be unable to match his words with his thoughts.

"You really do love me, don't you?" he said quietly, not quite a whisper, but more as if he were speaking only to himself.

My smile faded. I blinked, taken aback, before blushing and looking away.

"I thought the doc was exaggerating, he said that there was some freaky magic that drew you to me, that you would...that if I...that you wouldn't think there would be a reason for you to exist if I didn't." he continued, "I thought he was just trying to be impressive, but you really do love me, like magic..."

"Bippity-boppity-boo," I mumbled.

He took my hand in one of his and turned my face back to his with the other.

"I know it's hard for you to say it, I know some asshole screwed you up pretty bad, but I'm not exactly perfect either," he said as he forced my eyes to his, "so, maybe we can be screwed up together. I mean, if this whole vampire thing is real, then apparently I'm gonna need someone to make sure I don't terrorize the town."

I chuckled, "I believe that's my job."

"Right," he smiled.

"Right," I nodded and lay my head on his chest with a sigh. I closed my eyes and listened to his weak heartbeat, it sounded so frail and unsure, that I actually took solace in the thought that it would soon be stone. Unbreakable. Impenetrable. Immortal.

Luke's hand stroked my hair as he let me have my moment, he seemed to realize that this was something he couldn't understand, but that it was important to me. This all seemed too unreal to be true, how could Luke still want to be with me after all he had just learned? After he found out what he needed to become? If I had been given the chance to choose, if I could have chosen an easy death over this cursed half-life, I would be six feet under.

Thank god Luke didn't think like me I thought numbly to myself as I let my senses fall victim to his perfection.

"I won't tell you I love you," Luke said suddenly after a few minutes of peaceful silence, his hand still running through my short hair, "'cause I don't...not yet...not for a while...but I could."

He took me by the shoulders and pulled me into a sitting position.

"I could love you, Leah, I can see it. It just feels like it's supposed to happen, like it was planned, like you and me are two parts of one messed up, dysfunctional, sarcastic, strange-as-fuck person."

"Would it be corny to tell you that you complete me?" I smiled sardonically.

"Probably," he conceded.

"Too bad," I laughed and leaned into kiss him, and not just a peck either, he smiled and was all too willing to oblige, but before my lips could find their purchase, we were very unexpectedly interrupted.

"Leech!" I growled as I picked myself up from the floor. Edward was looking particularly smug as he held his hand out to me, the same hand that had pushed me off the bed a few seconds previous.

"Glad to see you've...dismounted," he smiled coyly.

Glad to see you're still an ugly, great bat who can't keep out of other people's business.

"Yes, thanks for the help," I smiled icily and hopped lightly to my feet without any assistance; one advantage of being a freak was the satisfyingly graceful coordination. Luke laughed from the bed, but immediately cleared his throat and threw Edward an exaggerated disapproving look as I glared at him.

"Anytime," Edward winked and then busied himself with disconnecting wires and reattaching others. I looked at him confusedly and only now noticed that he wasn't wearing the same thing that he was when I had left him. His white, scrub-like attire looked very much like an EMT's uniform, or something similar.

"Uh," I interjected nervously as I finally understood what he was doing, "shouldn't the doc be doing that?"

He scoffed, "Leah, I'm a hundred years old, I've studied the medical profession more times then you've read the Sunday paper, I think I can handle this simple task."

I crossed my arms stubbornly and watched Luke for any signs that Ed-wart had done something wrong; the task didn't seem so simple to me.

"Well, it is," he snapped and reattached the final wire to a portable heart monitor that had been hiding behind Luke's bed. It bleeped to life and I relaxed. Luke was fine...this time.

"It would be childish to point out that I told you so," Edward smirked, "but I find myself unable to care."

"Isn't impersonating a doctor illegal?" I sneered at his overwhelming ora of superiority.

Whoopee, you matched a couple of wires, want a prize?

"How about an animal sacrifice?" he suggested as he unfolded the wheelchair leaning against the wall in one perfectly fluid motion, much more perfect than even a werewolf could replicate.

"Let me guess," I rolled my eyes, "a dog?"

"I believe that was implied."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Luke asked amusedly.

"This is Edward," I said shortly, "Edward reads minds. Edward is annoying."

"Pleased to meet you," Edward sighed and shook Luke's hand. Luke must have been prepared for the unnatural coldness of his skin because he didn't recoil, heck, he didn't even flinch when Edward lifted him from the bed and into the chair.

"Four, Belgium, green, lasagna, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." Edward listed off randomly with a slight smile and began to roll him forward.

"Have you gone mad?" I said hopefully as I pushed Edward out of the way to direct Luke's chair myself.

"No," he half-smiled and ran his now empty hand through his hair, "Luke wanted to test my...abilities."

"Oh," I said and then looked down at Luke, "don't encourage him, if his ego gets much bigger, it will explode, and I don't want to clean up the mess."

"Egos are incapable of exploding, seeing as they are only a metaphorical representation of one's opinion of themselves, and not physical objects," Edward rattled off with a mischievous glint in his golden eyes.

"When I want a lecture," I spat, "I'll go to college!"

"Perhaps you could study animal biology, I'm sure you'd be the professor's most... involved student."

"Lesson number one: leech dissection," I smiled sweetly.

Edward looked like he might have retorted, but he quickly stopped and stood facing the elevators I hadn't realized he had been leading us towards. Only a second later the doors beeped, slid open, and revealed Dr. Carlisle Cullen in all of his professional glory.

"I do realize this is somewhat of a rush, but there is a transport waiting in the ambulance bay," he smiled kindly to Luke.

"Hey, I've been all dressed up with no where to go for too long, Dr. C," Luke shrugged and pulled lazily at his hospital gown, "so, let's go out for a night on the town."

Carlisle smiled and allowed us entry to the elevator while pushing the button marked with a large "G" and the doors slid closed.

"I do hope you two have been...civil," Carlisle said without much hope.

"Sorry doc," I smiled less than innocently, "they don't teach manners in biology class."

Edward and Luke chuckled.

Carlisle rolled his eyes and I liked to think he was comprising a list of medications that he believed we all should be on.

* * *

**End Notes:**

So, I hope you liked it, it's basically just a transition and a filler until I have more time and inspiration. I love y'all, so review! (I am from western New York and have no business saying y'all, but decided to anyway)

Oh, and I'm gonna try to answer all the reviews I haven't answered yet, soon-ish

***PS***

I AM PLANNING ON ENTERING THIS IN THE TWILIGHT AWARDS AND WOULD BE HONORED AND ETERNALLY YOUR WRITING SLAVE IF YOU WOULD VOTE FOR IT. IT WOULD INFLATE MY EGO TO NEAR EXPLODING LEVELS, AND THAT MY FRIENDS, WOULD BE AWESOME.


	9. Leah Likey Speed

* * *

**Chapter Notes:**

So, sorry for the delays, life is a butt...yeah, I probably could have stated that more eloquently, but I didn't want to.

Anyway, hope you enjoy, have a good Martin Luther King's Day, pray that I don't get frostbite because Rochester is currently 4 degrees, and review!

Steph Meyers= empress of all things Twilight.

Me= subject groveling at her feet in her vast kingdom of awesomeness.

And I just wanted to thank all my readers/reviewers/supporters. You guys are great. Over 6500 people have read this story and that might not be a lot in comparison to some others, but if I hadn't posted it here then only 1 person would have read it: myself (in case you didn't get that).

* * *

Chapter Song: Artist in the Ambulance by Thrice

_Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal_

_Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel_

_My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the_

_Greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands_

_They've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance_

(Oh, and have you seen this years Warped Tour line up? 'Cause it is ridiculous!)

"You stole an ambulance!" I hissed to Edward behind my hand. Carlisle was filling out some last minute doctor-ish papers with Luke and Edward and I were left to loiter by the shiny ambulance that had been conveniently reserved just for us.

Edward rolled his eyes and scowled, "Of course not, that would be completely irresponsible!"

"Oh, I see," I smirked, "ambulance rent-a-center."

"No, of course not. I bought it on eBay," he said as he made his way to the back of the vehicle and pulled open the doors, Luke and Carlisle were done with all the shmancy paper work and I guess it was time for us to go.

"You BOUGHT an ambulance!" I gasped as my jaw hit the floor.

"Carlisle plans to donate it to the town once we get back," he informed me.

Awwww, charitable little murderers, weren't they?

I helped lift Luke's chair into the back of the vehicle and climbed in after him. Carlisle joined us in the rear compartment, but Edward closed the back doors and took the drivers seat. I heard the sirens blast once and then we were on our way home. Back to Forks. Back to the Cullen's. Wow, I was gonna have to crash at the Cullen's, wasn't I? Luke obviously couldn't stay in La Push, our house was too small, and I doubt the elders would welcome a future leech with open arms. Not to mention Sam's reaction. Yeah, Sam would flip his shit.

Hmmm, Sam. What was I going to do about Sam? I hadn't thought about it until now, but I was going to have to tell Sam about my plan before I actually went through with it. If Sam and his pack caught one glimpse of Luke after his change, they would hunt and kill him.

Yeah, I guess I better get that particular unpleasantry out of the way sooner rather than later. I would probably have to tell Jacob too, after all he was the only one who could truly allow us to break the treaty without starting a war, but I didn't think Jake would have that big of a problem with the whole situation. I mean Jacob had forced us to babysit his half leech girl friend for how many months now? So, yeah, Jake owed me some leniency big time.

All in all, this was proving to be an extremely boring ride home. Carlisle was gathering Luke's medical history, family history, general history...sheesh, I think he might have wanted to write his biography. And Edward was...well...being Edward. He was impatient and moody and silent and brooding.

What's the matter leech? Ambulance driving not as glamorous as you thought?

Edward just glared at me for a few seconds before a devious smile spread across his face...uh, oh.

"Luke, you're flat-lining," Edward said.

"What? No I'm not," Luke quirked an eyebrow as he looked at his relatively steady EKG.

"No, you're in terrible danger," Edward said again in a seriously voice, "we have to get you home right away."

"Shut it, Leech!" I growled, he was making me nervous and I didn't like it one bit.

"Edward, don't" Carlisle said in a fatherly tone, he was looking disapprovingly at the back of Edward's head.

"Terrible danger," Edward muttered again and then turned his head to me. "We have to get him back to Forks as quickly as possible."

He smiled a deviously crooked smile before turning back to the road, flipping on the sirens, and gunning it.

"Hold on tight, folks," I half grumbled, half laughed, now that I understood what he was doing, "we've got ourselves a lead-footed leech."

Luke looked amused, Carlisle was closing his eyes and holding his temples as if he had a headache that only a father could understand, and I had the strangest urge to yell Faster! Faster! How old was I? Four?

The trip home was now exceptional more fun. Edward almost tipped us over twice before he finally got used to driving such a top heavy vehicle, we just barely avoided crushing a squirrel crossing the road, and we might have caused a few accidents. It was great. Only Carlisle seemed to be on edge. Let's just say that if Vamps could get sick, Dr. Cullen would be blowin' chunks all over his pretty white coat.

"We're here," Edward announced. Carlisle looked to the ceiling of the bus and said a silent prayer.

"Voila, welcome to the crypt." I smiled at Luke as Edward rushed around to the back to let us out.

"I think I can handle it from here, son," Carlisle said, smiling. "You should make sure the others know we're here and maybe it would be best if Jasper and Rose kept their distance."

Edward nodded and vanished in a blur of color.

"Uh, I get why the hungry lookin' one should stay back, but what's wrong with blondie?" I asked with a confused look as Carlisle helped me pull Luke's stretcher out.

"Rose can be a bit..."

"Corrosive? Petty? Over dramatic? A bitch?" I offered.

Carlisle smiled weakly, "I was going to say 'unaccepting.'"

Carlisle unfolded the wheel chair as I lifted Luke from the bed and set him into it. He looked surprised at first--probably at the fact that I could lift a grown man without any strain at all--but he just settled on shaking his head and chuckling quietly. Yes, me strong like bull, don't be freaked out.

"The hungry lookin' one and blondie..." Luke finally said as the doc closed up the ambulance, "sound like nice folk."

I laughed. This is why I was magically forced to fall in love with this man.

"Just wait until you meet the rest of the family. There's the motherly one; the short-invading-your-personal-space-and-seeing-into-the-future-one; the steroids one; and the used-to-be-a-human-until-her-half-demon-baby-tore-through-her-uterus-and-killed-her-one." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Dang it! I was hoping there was a 'cures-cancer' one," he said with mock disappointment.

"Just shut up and look at your new house. You better like it, 'cause you're gonna be here for the next few millennia." I pushed at his shoulder playfully as he turned his attention towards the extravagant white house.

"Actually, we move every ten years or so," Carlisle interjected.

"It's called exaggeration, doc."

"Both of you shut it," Luke said, holding up his hand, "I'm havin' a moment."

I looked to Luke and saw him starring, wide-eyed at the Cullen's place. I guess he was impressed.

"You mean I get to live here?" he said, looking awestruck.

I nodded and crossed my arms. Okay, it was nice, but I had spent the past few months despising it and everything in it. Guess that's gonna have to change starting now.

"I think we should get you inside," Carlisle interrupted, "You'll need more pain medication soon."

"Yeah, yeah, let's get on with the introductions."

I sighed, plugged my nose, and pushed Luke towards the door. Here we go...

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Next Chapter: Leah confronts Jake and Sam. Will Sam, as Leah said, "flip his shit"? Or will he not give a dang. Who knows, well, I knows, but I'm not telling yet.

Oh, and about the whole Twilight awards thing that I posted last week...

Basically you go to this website:

(Okay, I tried to write the website and it wouldn't let me so, just google twilight awards and it should come up)

and you nominate my story if you would like. :-)

Right now they are just in the nomination process, if I get selected for any category, I will let you guys know and then you can vote for it in the actual contest. You guys rock, just by the way.


	10. Doors, Snores, and New Clothes

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Yay, long-ish chapter!!! Wooooooo...Okay, I'll stop and let you read.

Stephanie Meyers is rich. Stephanie Meyers is famous. Stephanie Meyers wrote Twilight.

I have fourteen dollars to my name. My friends have recently begun referring to me as Tater Tot, which is unfortunate. And I wrote...this.

* * *

Chapter Song: Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind

_She said I want something else_

_To get me through this_

_Semi-charmed kind of life baby baby_

_I want something else_

_Im not listening when you say_

_Good-bye_

_Just stay calm. Deep breaths. In and out, that's it..._

_Wait, what the fuck am I doing? This isn't lamaze class, get it together, Leah!_

_This isn't that bad, I've faced the freakin' entire Volturi mafia! I can definitely handle socializing with the Cullen freaks!_

_Okay, note to self, stop referring to them as freaks._

_Oh god, I think I look nervous...am I hyperventilating?_

_Okay...uh...smile, yeah, that's it, smile!_

_Shit! Not that much you idiot! They'll think you're bi-polar!_

_Shit, okay, smile slightly, try not to insult them, reign in the sarcasm, and breath as little as possible or risk puking all over their nice white furniture._

_Yeah, good plan._

Internal pep talk done, I opened the door.

"You'll let me plan your wedding without a fuss, right?" The short, pixie-ish one approached me without hesitation, brandishing her finger at me like the blade of a sword. She threw a squinty-eyed glare towards Bella, who recoiled, looking guilty, before returning to me. "I mean, I'm not really sure about the whole wedding thing, the future basically just took a nose dive into oblivion, but from what Carlisle told us I just assumed..."

"Psychic with boundary issues?" Luke whispered to me as I just stared, open-mouthed at the teensy, tiny leech in front of me.

I nodded, well, I think I did. We had barely even gotten two feet in the house and she was already volunteering to be my wedding planner? Oh god, I'm definitely gonna need a drink or something...can werewolves even get drunk? Funny, I don't think any of us have ever really tried. Not much time for recreational substance abuse when you're chasin' vamps night and day.

"Actually, I prefer Alice," she smiled sweetly at Luke and extended her hand. He shook it without pause. "But your description isn't entirely off base."

Luke smiled and attempted to straighten himself in his wheelchair. He winced. My overprotective nature immediately took over.

"Okay, we're very grateful for your hospitality and understanding, but dying guy needs his beauty sleep. The rest of the intros will have to wait" I said, stepping forward to intercept the welcome wagon consisting of an absolutely beaming Esme, an amused looking Emmet, and a still apologetic looking Bella.

_Yo, Edward, little help here? There are more rooms in this crypt than the Ritz. I don't know where to, uh...stash him_

Edward raised his eyebrow at my choice of words, but thankfully scooped Luke into his arms and proceeded to carry him upstairs without a word. Poor Luke, I imagine being man-handled by well, another man, isn't exactly the most comfortable of situations. Or the most ego-boosting.

Carlisle cleared his throat behind me, making me jump, and then muttered something about needing to ready the dosage before disappearing...leaving me...alone...with three of my ex-arch enemies. I looked around at all of them awkwardly, gave them a shaky half smile and then hastily followed after Edward. Okay, family get-togethers are not my thing. Get over it. I told myself

I tried to follow Luke's scent, but I nearly gagged every time I took a deep breath so, I just started opening doors. Hmmm, traditional looking room with a king sized bed...Carlisle and Esme's. A library so big it should require a membership. The doc's study. Ew, kinky, Rose and Emmet's room. Moving on, please god, get those images out of my head. Okay, giant closet. Another giant closet. Seriously? Who needed that many clothes? I swear, there were enough pleated khakis in those two rooms to outfit all of Cambodia. Whatever, on with the search. Bathroom...wait, do vampires even go to the...never mind. Room with a huge three-panel mirror, lot's of fancy, expensive lookin' furniture, and an antique looking horse whip? Blech, more bad images, I don't even want to know.

"You could have just called for me," Edward said, leaning casually against the door frame of what I assumed to be Luke's room. I was only about seven doors away, but who knows what other disturbing things I would have found I those rooms.

"Snooping is fun," I shrugged and made my way towards him, "and interesting, definitely interesting. By the way, why do Emmet and Rose have so many chains? Aren't they a bit superfluous when you guys can, you know, pound boulders into dust?"

Edward shuddered. "I try not to pry."

"Yeah, that's probably the best idea," I decided and thanked my lucky stars that I couldn't read minds. Poor Ed, he must have seen some nasty stuff in his life...holy shit! Stop sympathizing for the leech!

Edward gave me a smirk. "Does the dog like the leech now?"

"Stuff it, bat!" I spat.

"Both of you 'stuff it'!" Carlisle groaned. "I just gave Luke his pain medication and he's going to need his sleep. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going downstairs before you two give me the first supernatural aneurism!"

And with that he pushed passed us and disappeared. Edward shrugged at me and followed after him, probably to go make goo goo eyes at Bella for being away so long. Man, he sure was whipped.

"I most certainly am not," he denied as he descended the staircase.

I made a whip lash sound, then walked into Luke's room and shut the door before he could retaliate. Ha, who got the last word? That's right, me.

"You know, I resent what you said downstairs," Luke muttered, slurring some of his words.

"What? The part where I referred to you as 'the dying guy'?" I asked.

"No, the part about me needing my beauty sleep," he smirked. "Sleep ain't got nothin' to do with this beauty. It's all in the genes, baby."

I snorted. "Is humility in those genes too?"

"Maybe, why don't you take them off and find out," he said wiggling his eyebrows like a villian who just tied a screaming damsel to some train tracks.

"Okay, first of all, that's j-e-a-n-s not g-e-n-e-s. And second, you're not even wearing jeans. You're not wearing any pants at all."

"See, you already got me half naked, lucky you," he yawned and then his head drooped and fell onto his pillow with a snore. Awwwww, look at him, his mouth half open and emitting a sound comparable to a jackhammer. Actually, it was kind of cute, like a giant, hibernating teddy bear with five o'clock shadow. Wearing a hospital gown. I really needed to find him a robe or something.

Knock, knock.

Okay....who the hell was knocking? I walked to the door, feeling like some strange owner of a one room apartment, and opened it.

"Jake?"

"Hey, Leah, the doc said you were gonna need to talk to me?" he said, looking even more confused than I did.

Oh...ohhhhh. Well, I guess now was as good a time as any, what with cancer mcgee sawing wood and all.

"Yeah, there is actually something I need to talk to you about," I admitted, "but let's go someplace private."

"The only privacy your gonna get from these bloodsuckers is the rez," he laughed.

"Okay, let's go."

He stopped laughing. "W-what, are you serious?"

"No, I'm kidding, good joke." I rolled my eyes and gave him an impatient stare.

"Okay, what's going on, Leah? Why are you in the Cullen's house? And who else is in that room? I smell someone else, someone new, someone human..." He tried to crane his neck and look past me, but I pushed him out into the hall and shut the door.

"That's what I need to talk to you about, idiot!" I smacked his forehead with my hand. "Now, come on, I'll race you. And by race I mean I'll beat you so bad you'll cry big, salty tears of shame!"

"Sure, sure," he smiled and then lunged for the stairs. That's what I love about Jake, he shows no mercy. No wasting time on ladies first or holding doors, just straight, in your face competition.

I heard the front door slam and decided that I had given him enough of a head start. I ran to the end of the hall, slid back the window, and jumped. I tore off my dress and phased before it even fluttered to the ground. I didn't bother taking it with me, I'd stop home and get something more my style.

_So, what exactly is this whole "talk" gonna be about, Leah? I knew the Cullens were keepin' something from me, they told me to take Nessie and stay at my house for the day, but I never dreamed the secret was about you. _Jake said in his head. I could tell he was disgruntled, he was the Alpha and he didn't like not knowing what was going on with his pack.

_Aw, worried about your right hand woman? I smirked. I'm flattered, can't you see me blushing?_

_Don't fuck with me, Leah, you hated the Cullens and now you're all good pals? You wouldn't even go near the house and now you've got your own room? Something weird is going on and I want to know. Now._

_Do it, Jake, order me. MAKE me tell you right NOW. Order me because you're too impatient to wait for me to tell you like a normal human being._

_Sheesh, what are you, PMS-ing?_ He sent me a mental picture of rolling his eyes.

_Ugh, you're a sexist ass_, I snarled.

_And you're a stubborn bitch,_ he chuckled.

_Meet me at my house, I need to change,_ I said flatly.

_What about our race?_ He questioned.

_I don't feel like racing, _I responded and threw on a burst of speed. I was done messing around with this.

I phased outside my house and jumped through my bedroom window. I didn't worry about Jake seeing me, he was at least five minutes behind.

I looked at my room and couldn't help but feel like I was saying goodbye. I knew I could always come back, but it would never truly be home again. My home was wherever Luke was and Luke could never come here. I sighed, put on some cargo pants and a long-sleeved, black shirt and then grabbed a backpack and a duffle bag. I threw most of my clothes in the pack, along with some other personal stuff, and zipped it shut. I folded up the quilt on my bed and placed it in the bottom of the duffle bag. Next came my pillow, my toothbrush, my last pair of shoes, and my photo albums. I remembered what I had said earlier about getting Luke a robe and I walked to my mom's bedroom. I opened her closet and found my father's clothes exactly as they had been since the day he died. I took a robe and a few more things before carefully folding them and adding them to the bag. I don't think dad would have minded, after all, they were for the man I loved. Plus he was dead, what did he need clothes for?

"Leah, what on earth are you doing?" My mother gasped.

"M-mom," I stuttered and hastily shut the closet.

"Are you leaving?" she asked, looking at my duffle bag and then at me.

"I...no," I said lamely. "Well, sort of. Just for a little while."

She sighed and walked out of the room, motioning for me to follow her. Our walk ended in the living room.

"I think I always knew you would leave, my daughter. Reservation life was never the life for you, I could see that, you don't need boundaries nor do you like them." She laughed sadly.

"Mom, I'll come back, I'll be close by."

"Silly child," she snapped in her commanding voice, "I know that. I'm telling you not to worry about me, I can get along without you, your mother is strong. Just...just don't be a stranger, Leah." She walked over to the cabinet that held all of our tribal heirlooms and opened one of the doors. She took out a bright blue necklace made with ceramic beads and handed it to me. I think I remembered my grandmother wearing it before she passed on.

"Never forget where you came from, Leah, never forget your tribe. It is what you are, it is who you are."

I didn't know what to say to that so, I chose to hug her and try not to tear up. "Thanks, mom, I'll...uh...call."

She laughed, "I'll answer."

She released me and walked to her bedroom. Neither of us were any good at saying goodbye.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I rolled my eyes, I guess I was taking too long, pardon me for having an emotional moment. God, forbid I keep Jacob waiting, he had important things to do: drool over Nessie, laugh with Nessie, stare at Nessie, kill little animals with Nessie, pine over how he was going to be a virgin for about eight more years, and then think about how Edward was going to decapitate him when he finally deflowered Nessie. Like I said, important things.

"I'm coming, keep your pants on. Literally. I've seen your junk more times than I can count and once was MORE than enough." I smirked and stepped out of my house the last time for...awhile.

"Yeah, yeah, tell me you're not impressed," he chuckled.

"I'm not impressed. I'm sickened actually."

"Sure, sure." He waved his hand dismissively.

"Ugh, you know, I saw this comic one time where there was this really creepy kid who said 'rape is just sex you never know you wanted'. You're that guy." I hissed.

"At least I'm pretty." He shrugged.

"You want to hear what I have to say or not?"

He made like he was zipping his lips, plopped down on the ground and patted the spot of dirt beside him. I sat on the opposite side of where his hand indicated I should-because I'm a rebel like that-and told him the whole angsty story of Luke. Everything from the disgruntled hospital greeting lady to the spur ambulance purchase.

"The stupid blood suckers actually bought an ambulance!" He laughed.

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it either," I muttered and shook my head.

Insert awkward pause where I sat sulkily and Jake tried to stop laughing like an ape.

"Sooooo," he finally said, "imprinting...kinda crazy, huh?"

"That's one way of putting it."

"You know, I have to admit I'm surprised," he chuckled again.

"And why, may I ask, is that?" I rolled my eyes. What, was my life really so sad that he thought I was destined to be alone and bitter forever?

"Well, I don't know, I always sort of thought...well, I thought you always had a thing for me. It's weird knowing that you found someone else..."

Insert awkward silence where I wait for Jake to tell me he was kidding and have a good laugh. Yeah, no laughing, he was serious.

"YOU THOUGHT WHAT!" I yelled and my eyes felt like they were about to pop out of their sockets and kick him in the face.

"I don't know," he said looking scared, "I mean, you joined my pack even though you hated the Cullens, you stayed around with me even after the whole Nessie thing was settled, and you even wanted to run away with me that one time!"

Seriously? Seriously? He thought I secretly pined for a piece of Jacob Black? Jackass.

"YOU ARE THE BIGGEST, MOST SELF CENTERED, PIG I HAVE EVER MET!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. My skin was shaking and I could feel my fists clenching, though, I was powerless to stop it.

"Calm down, Leah, my mistake!" He said with palms raised in a sign of surrender. "Really, obviously I'm no relationship guru, I messed up, please don't explode out of your clothes!"

I took a deep breath, reminded myself that it wasn't Jake's fault he was such a huge idiot, and tried my best not to "explode out of my clothes". I liked these pants.

"I NEVER thought of you as anything but a friend-slash-leader-slash-really annoying neighbor. Got it?" I pointed at him and gave him a menacing look. He nodded and I decided it was safe to sit beside him again.

Ew, Leah Black, just the sound of it made my skin crawl.

"So, I guess you want me to use my mighty Alpha authority to give you permission to turn Luke?" He sighed.

"Actually, I just wanted to tell you about my day, but I guess that works too," I half-smiled.

"Yeah, well, I give you my permission, treaty on stand-by, whatever," He sighed like he had done this one to many times and then his expression grew sad. "You know, when I did this for Bella, I never really thought I'd have to do it again."

"Sorry for ruining your expectations."

"I guess I do owe you. You've been surprisingly tolerable through this whole ordeal," he chuckled.

"Better than Paul?" I smiled.

"Definitely better than Paul," he agreed.

"Sweet, my life is complete." I patted him on the back, lifted myself off the ground, and made to leave.

"It's funny, kinda cruel even, that you and me are so alike." He sighed. I turned to see that he was on his feet too.

"What do you mean?" My eyes narrowed with the suspicion that he was about to say something stupid again.

"You and me are in like, the same boat, or whatever. Bella and Sam, Emily and Edward, Nessie and Luke. It's like some crazy, fucked up twilight zone." He shook his head and turned away. "You loved Sam and just when you thought you might have him forever, boom, Emily came and took him away. Just like what Bella did to me when Edward came back. Well, sort of. I mean, Bella wasn't exactly with me like you were with Sam, but I could see it, she was close to letting me in. A few more weeks without that leech and we would have been together. If I didn't have Nessie, I don't think I'd be able to get over it, I'm still not completely over it, but now I have Ness. That's all that really matters in the end. Just like you have Luke. He doesn't make you forget about Sam, he just makes you realize that he's not what you want anymore. There's someone more when you thought you could never find anything as good as what you had before."

I just starred at him with wide eyes. His words were...surprisingly logical. Huh, who knew Jake had it in him. Certainly not me. I had always sympathized with Bella, I always thought that me and her were like two peas in a pod. Her boy left her, my boy left her, but in reality we were nothing alike. Her story was not only separate from mine, but it was in a totally different genre! And Jake...well, Jake had been put through everything I had. We'd both had our shares of heartbreak and headaches. I guess I never saw it because I never really bothered to step back and look at the big picture. Maybe it was because his story was already done, he had his happy ending while mine was still a hundred pages away. Or maybe it was because I didn't like comparing myself to a guy, whatever. I saw it now.

"You know, if none of this existed, no vamps, no wolves, no supernatural shit, things would be different. You'd be with Bella and Sam would never have left me," I said.

"Yeah, humans have it so simple, sucks that they have a shelf life."

"At least that's one advantage of this semi-charmed kind of life, we get to live it forever." I laughed humorlessly.

"Forever young," he smirked, continuing my song quotage. Wow, I needed to get outta there before we started braiding each other's hair.

"Well, thanks. For...yeah." I said lamely.

"Off to see Sam?" He asked, handing me my duffel bag as I swung my back pack over my shoulder.

"Yup."

"Good luck," he gave me a sympathetic look, clapped me on the back, and took off into the woods.

Good luck indeed.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

So, yeah, I decided to split the whole Sam and Jake encounter into two chapters. Sorry, but I'm sure you'll get over it. Write me somethin' and I'll write back. Until next time!

Oh, and thanks for everyone who very graciously nominated. I am your writing slave. And thanks for everyone who is first reading, continuing to read, or staring blankly at this story! You guys are sweet-tastic. (Yes, that is a made up word).

***Oh, and as for all of you who have been leaving me comments: first of all, you guys are awesome, second of all, I'm sorry I haven't responded to very many of them. On it doesn't let you see which comments you've already responded to (or if it does, I'm technologically challenged and don't know how to find out) and I don't want to send one person like 4 responses and have them thinking I'm a crazy stalker...So, if you truly want a response to your comment I would suggest leaving one at (TWILIGHTED . NET) if you have an account. If not, I can't make any guarantees, but I'll try my hardest to respond to all of your comments. I'm not just one of those authors who is like, "pshhhh, commoners who read my stories and then praise me, how dare they? Off with their heads!" Okay, I don't really know anyone who does that, but what I'm trying to say is that I do read-and appreciate-every single message I get. So, thanks again! 3 ToWriteLoveOnAPage AKA GiveYourImmortalityToMe AKA Connelly.


	11. Sorry I Thought About Mauling Your Face

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**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Okay, me=horrible writing person. I'm sorry for taking so long! I got distracted by final fantasy and death note (don't mock me, I'm a dork). Heck I even went bowling this week! I suck at bowling, I don't even know why we went bowling, I haven't bowled in like seven years. I know I could have been home writing this, but apparently the universe decided I needed more public humiliation in my life (hence the bowling).

Anyway, don't hate me!!! Just read and try not to mentally murder me!!!

Oh, and Steph Meyers is like the Dane Cook of writing. I'm like the random, obscure comic you see in a cafe but can't remember their name. Yeah.

* * *

Chapter Song: Pain by Three Days Grace

_Pain, without love_

_Pain, can't get enough_

_Pain, I like it rough_

_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_

Okay, you know when you run into your ex at the grocery store, you try to duck behind the cereal aisle, but he sees you anyway and you're forced to give an awkward little "oh, hey, how's tricks?", while internally imploding from the uncomfortableness of the situation? Yeah, well imagine meeting with the ex-love-of-your-life, who turned into a werewolf, formed some freaky destiny thing with your cousin, accidentally mauled her, became your pack leader when you magically turned into a werewolf too, then became your ex-pack leader when you mutinied against him. Oh, and then you have to tell him that you've fallen in love with some dying, cancer guy and plan on turning him into his arch-nemesis and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

Yeah, I have a fun life. It's great, it truly is. I just L-O-V-E life. Yup. Okay, if you haven't picked up on the sarcasm by now you probably shouldn't be allowed to live anymore.

Anyway, here I am, walking so slowly you would have thought I was physically disabled, all because the only thing in the world I truly fear is the conversation I will have to face when my feet stop moving. And spiders...ew, they're just creepy. But that's not really here nor there I guess, because unless Sam has a giant spider crawling on his face, this situation really couldn't get much more sucktastic.

Emily's house is slowly but surely coming into view and my stomach is churning like a particularly petulant sea. With Jake it was more like I just wanted to get the question out of the way, I knew he wouldn't turn me down, he owed me too much, but Sam was a different story. I was nervous because I knew that no matter what I said, this would end up turning into a fight. Sam was a strict person, he took his rules very seriously. With Sam there were no loopholes, no special favors, no looking the other way. There was still enough of my Sam in the unfamiliar body of the muscled, pack leader for me to be sure that he would not take to my plan very kindly.

And I knew myself well enough to know that I wasn't about to take his shit sitting down.

My hand hesitated for only a fraction of a second before rapping against the thick wood of the front door, I heard the voices in the house cease before Emily's soft footsteps started towards the foyer.

"Oh, hello Leah," she said. She didn't smile, I guess she was too surprised to see me to actually try to conjure one up.

Let's just say that I hadn't really ever found the motivation to stop by for an afternoon chat with my ex-boyfriend's fiancee. Even if she was my cousin, I still really couldn't stand to look at her without being on the edge of hysterics, and it wasn't even because of her scars. In fact, I was probably the only person on the face of the earth that didn't notice Emily's scars. The only thing that I saw when I looked at her was Sam, and that was enough to make me never want to see her again.

"Uh, hey Emily, I need to talk to Sam," I mumbled, reaching to nervously push my hair behind my ear only to remember that I had to chop it all off when I became a freak.

"Oh. I'll send him out?" She said it as if it was more of a question than a statement.

"Yeah, that would be good," I answered, throwing a shaky smile to the girl that I used to consider a sister.

The door closed and I heard hushed voices from somewhere inside the house, I tried not to listen; I didn't want to hear whatever they were saying about me. It probably wasn't pleasant.

"Leah, what are you doing here?" Sam said as soon as he closed the front door behind him.

His face was blank and stern looking, I guess the girl whose heart he broke wasn't welcome in his new, fancy, mythological life. Whatever, it's not like I was the one that got screwed over anyway, why should I care that he was looking at me like a particularly pesky house bug that wouldn't die?

"Don't worry, this is a business trip, all past relationships aside."

He sighed and his look turned regretful. Good, he should.

"Unfortunately I don't think your going to like what I have to say," I continued, crossing my arms and trying to look impatient, like this was all some huge waste of my time.

"What is it this time?" He said with just the hint of a sarcastic smile on his usually tight lips. "Have Jake and Edward finally torn each other apart?"

I smiled and then quickly corrected myself. I wasn't supposed to be smiling, I just wanted to get this over with, an in and out operation. But I guess if history has taught us anything it's that things don't always go as planned. You know, like Vietnam? See, I finished high school, I know history, not all werewolves are stupid. Just Jake.

"No, this is about me actually..." I said, clearing my throat, looking away, and suddenly becoming very interested in my hands. "See, I kinda imprinted."

Silence. More silence. Then finally...

"That's great, Leah, I'm happy for you," he said in a voice that was just slightly off.

"Does this...does this bother you?" I asked, turning to look at his blank face with slight disbelief.

He looked at his feet and closed his eyes, "this is just...unexpected, it took me off guard, but I'm happy for you. When can I meet him?"

"Um...you can't," I said evasively.

He gave me a hard look. "And why not?"

Ugh, here goes nothin'. Light your torches and sharpen your pitchforks kids.

"Because, he's dying, and not in the 'I'm immortal and he's getting older' kinda way, but the 'next week' kinda way," I huffed.

His annoyed look vanished and softened before he sighed and took a step towards me. "Leah, I'm so sorry."

"I said he's dying, I never said I was going to let him," I said in a low whisper as he stopped dead in his tracks.

"What?" He asked. Yeah, like he didn't hear me.

"Luke is dying, I've asked Carlisle to...save him."

More silence in which Sam pressed his lips together so tightly I thought they might come off, closed his eyes as his face became progressively redder, and started messaging his temples with shaky hands.

"No." Was all he managed to force through his clenched teeth.

Who got Sam's reaction right? Leah got Sam's reaction right. Score one for me, now the real fight begins.

"I thought you might say that and so, I conveniently thought up a response," I sneered. "You have no say in this, Jake gave the okay, now goodbye 'cause I really don't ever want to see you again."

I tried to turn and walk away, but I knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Leah," he said so calmly that it was scary, "I do have a say in this, I'm an Alpha too, despite those who would like to forget that, and this puts our people in danger. I will not allow it. I will not allow you to put our people in danger for some personal reason."

"This is not just some 'personal reason', Sam, this is my imprint, a man, a human life!" I growled. "You may be Alpha, but you aren't the Alpha; any war you start will be unjustified!"

"I don't have to justify my decisions to anyone!" He hissed and took a violent step forward. "I definitely don't have to justify protecting my people!"

"What do you think I'm gonna do? Let him wander the rez, looking for a midnight snack?" I scoffed, "He's agreed to the Cullen's way of life. I'll take him as far away as necessary, no one will be in danger!"

"No, it's too much of a risk! I can't let you do this...this isn't natural Leah, he's supposed to die! Just accept it!"

Whoa, hold on a second. He did not just say that.

"YOU. ARE. UNBELIEVABLE." I hissed as my hands started to shake in sync with his. "You broke me, and I don't mean like you dumped me and I was upset for a few months, I mean broken. On the floor for days. Crying because the man that promised me everything just disappeared. Hating myself for being so jealous of my cousin that I couldn't even look at her anymore. Hating everyone else because they still believed in stupid shit like love when I couldn't. You took my future, my laughter, my happiness. I'm this bitter, sarcastic shrew because of you! You made me like this! And I've finally found someone who will accept me despite of the broken, distorted mess you made. You broke me, you don't get to decide how I pick up the pieces, and you definitely don't get to tell me to accept that the only person since you that I've loved is going to die because you won't let him live. You don't get to tell me SHIT!"

And with that I exploded into a snarling, barking body of fur and fangs, grabbed my bags between my teeth, and took off into the woods. I didn't stop to look at Sam's face, for if I did, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to stop myself from making it look just like Emily's.

After a few minutes, I was outside the Cullens', throwing on that stupid white dress because it was faster than digging through my bags and finding an outfit, and deciding that jumping back in the second story window was going to be a lot more impossible than jumping out had been.

God help me I would have to use the front door.

I knocked, but received no answer so, I let myself in. I guess they didn't bother to keep it locked, people probably weren't stupid enough to rob their house anyway. Even if they didn't know they were vampires, I'm pretty sure they had enough basic instincts to resist ransacking the crypt of eight superhuman monsters. If not, they probably deserved to be eaten.

"What the heck is wrong with you?" someone said as they emerged from the kitchen. It was the flighty one, Jasper, I wondered why in the heck he was in a room devoted to food.

"Nessie," he clarified as he held up an apple, "they want to get her to eat human food."

"Oh..." Something told me that little thing was more bloodthirsty than hungry for a healthy snack.

"So, would you care to share why you're so angry that you almost made me crush this apple...and why your dress is unzipped," he said, clearing his throat and averting his eyes.

I looked down and saw that the side zipper that ran all the way from my hip to my arm pit was indeed wide open. Awesome.

"Life's a bitch, that's why," I mumbled as I zipped the stupid thing.

He gave me a weird look and then smiled, "well now, your language ain't very lady-like."

"If you haven't noticed, neither am I, Southern Comfort."

He snorted. "I like you, your humor almost evens out the repulsive smell."

I watched him with one brow cocked as he tossed the apple casually in one hand and walked out the back door to join the rest of the family in the yard. What a strange guy, even for a vamp.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

Okay so, for some reason this site has been giving me issues for the last week, this chapter was actually done awhile ago it just wouldn't let me login to post it. Sorry bout that

Well yeah, until next time people, I'll try to make it quick this time!!!


	12. Can Anyone Say Anaphylactic Shock?

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**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Oh my god, I actually posted another chapter in under a week. This is weird, is the world ending...no? Okay, that's good, 'cause the world ending kinda puts a damper on the rest of my week.

Anyway, here's chapter 12, hope you like it. And thanks for everyone who has been reading and commenting and leaving me nice little notes. You guys are awesome!

:-) (yes, the smiley was necessary)

* * *

**Chapter Song: We Intertwined by The Hush Sound**

I_n a field outside of town we could always be alone_

_Carry a blanket maybe a basket--and that's it_

_Innocence was the key I was locked up never free_

_Until you turned me _

_Like vines we intertwined (like vines we intertwined)_

_Carelessly growing up and growing old_

_Life was on our tongues (on our tongues)_

_And it tasted heavenly so good_

I opened the door to Luke's room to find Carlisle doing something...doctory. He looked up from his work, gave me a quick smile and then looked back down to write something on his chart.

"Ehhhhh, What's up doc?" I asked, using my best impression of Bugs Bunny. He gave me a weird look before chuckling and placing the chart on Luke's bedside table.

"Not much of anything actually," he said, "Luke's been asleep for your entire absence; I was just making some calculations."

"Ah," I said, nodding, understanding that whatever "calculations" he had been taking probably required a shmancy diploma to make sense of.

"And Seth called about an hour ago," he added as he pulled out a syringe and extracted a few milligrams of...something...from a small, glass container. "He mentioned something about 'ripping out your tongue and throttling you with it, you horrible, horrible excuse for a sister', and also that he doesn't know how to drive stick because you 'didn't have enough sense to teach me, did mom drop you on the head or something?'."

He gave me a shrug. "Keep in mind that I'm paraphrasing."

I slapped my forehead, I had completely forgotten about Seth. He was probably still in the hospital waiting room, staring moodily at his stolen cat figurine, and trying to magically force Alice's transmission to convert from manual to automatic.

"I'll call him," I groaned as I fumbled around in my bag for my phone.

"I think that would be wise," he agreed as he injected whatever medication he had been preparing into the IV dripping into Luke's arm.

I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him as I exited the room to keep from waking Luke. I had a feeling that Seth hadn't exactly 'let it all out' when he had talked to Carlisle earlier.

"SIS!" A loud roar erupted from the earpiece as soon as I heard the other line connect. "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"Sheesh, Seth, If you yell any louder you'll wake the dead," I sighed impatiently, "and I think that would seriously freak out the hospital morticians."

"I can't believe you just LEFT me here!" he whined, completely ignoring my previous comment. "I don't know how to drive Alice's contraption, Billy's been treating me to '101 fascinating tales of the great chief Bull-Horn', I think that receptionist knows I took her cat, and Paul practically tackled me when he found out the cafeteria was out of pastrami!"

"Why don't you read to the sick? Oh wait, I forgot you can't read...hmmm, how 'bout transforming and letting the peds ward pet the pretty doggie?"

"I. Am. In. Hell." he hissed.

Drama queen.

"Fine, I'll tell you how to get home, just stop the whining." I rolled my eyes.

"But what if I crash Alice's car?" he whispered nervously.

"Well, then you'll have to work the streets until you get enough money to pay for a new one," I whispered back in a patronizing tone.

"Ugh, you're so annoying, just tell me how to work the dang thing."

"That 'dang thing' happens to be a Porsche," I snapped. Hey, it might be a stinky leech-mobile, but it was still an Italian masterpiece. It deserved some respect.

"Whatever!" he huffed.

"Keep your skirts on, princess!" I growled, "All you've got to do is..."

After I spent the better part of an hour explaining and re-explaining the concept of driving stick to my paranoid little brother, I was finally able to throw my phone out the window...okay, not really, but I did rip out the battery pack in case Seth felt the need to ask about the clutch for the fiftieth time.

I yawned, considered smashing a pricey looking vase to make myself feel better, decided I might actually regret it later, called myself a wuss for caring about some stupid vamp vase, and walked into Luke's room.

Not much had changed since my last visit except for the fact that Carlisle must have left to join the rest of the family and Luke was now sitting up, obviously lucid and alert.

"I didn't know you knew how to drive stick," he smirked, "it's hot."

"My good sir, were you eavesdropping?" I gasped, pretending to look scandalized.

"It hardly qualifies as eavesdropping when you're screamin' 'I know there's no 'park' on the gear shift you idiot! Just put it in neutral and use the emergency brake, moron!'," he said in a mock voice that I guessed was supposed to be mine. It sounded more like someone had kicked him in the nuts and he was having trouble finding his manhood, than an adequate girl voice.

"Well, I can't help that my brother is an annoying brat," I shrugged.

He chuckled, "siblings are annoying, aren't they?"

"Yeah," I agreed with a sigh as I took a seat on the edge of his bed. "You ever miss yours?"

"Sometimes," he admitted as his laughter died, "but Carol and I were never close, she moved away when I was still a kid, haven't talked to her since."

Oh, well that wasn't what I had expected.

"Do...do you want to talk to her?" I asked nervously. I didn't want him to feel like he couldn't say goodbye to his family because of me or the situation I had put him in.

"Nah," he said, waving his hand dismissively, "why dig up the past?"

"But...won't she want to know when you die?" I asked, making air quotes on the last word. "I mean, won't she have to identify the body? Won't she want to go to the funeral?"

"The doc took care of it all," he shrugged. "He had Edward erase my records, if she ever tries to find out about me they'll just think I died and got lost in the system or somethin'. She might even get a nice settlement out of it if she wants to sue," he chuckled.

Well, the vamps sure were resourceful.

"Oh, that's...handy," I said.

"You worry too much ya know that?" He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, well, I got stuff to worry about."

"Methinks the lady needs to loosen up a bit," he said suggestively as he wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

"Methinks I'm gonna hit you," I smirked as his hand mysteriously found it's way to my knee.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," he continued as his hand inched it's way up.

"Me thinks if we don't stop quoting Shakespeare, I'm gonna find a ye-olde mandolin and shove it up your-"

"Okay, okay," he said hastily as his hand retreated to grab a pillow and hold it in front of him like a shield. "Can't a dyin' man try to seduce his girlfriend in peace?"

Wait...girlfriend? I guess that's what I was, but I don't know, it just sounded a little pathetic in comparison to imprinting. Hey, there's the man whose existence keeps my heart beating, the guy I would throw myself in front of a bus and chew off my right foot for if he asked me. AKA my boyfriend.

Yeah, sounded a little off, but whatever. I'd take it.

"There will be no seducing in a house full of vamps that can hear everything and anything we decide to do," I informed him.

"What, they got the house bugged?" he asked, looking around the room as if searching for a big video camera hanging from the ceiling.

"Super hearing," I rolled my eyes.

"Really?"

"Really, really," I sighed.

"SWEET!" He chuckled with a goofy, look on his face. "Am I gonna be able to do that too?"

"Yup, super hearing, super speed, super strength, super resistance to cancer," I ticked off with my fingers. I forced myself not to add "super killer" to that list for Luke's sake. I wouldn't let him become a killer, I'd do whatever it takes to make sure he never took another human life.

"Awesome, I'm gonna fight crime!" he announced. "You can too, we'll be Dracula and the vonder dog!" he said in a weird accent.

"Are the pain meds makin' you a little funny in the head or something?" I asked, shaking my head in amusement.

"Probably," he smiled.

"Yeah, well, no crime fighting. Scary, supernatural monsters are supposed to keep it under the radar," I said, patting him on the shoulder, "Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster kinda ruined it for us all. Some stupid tourists get a few pictures of 'em and suddenly everyone wants to find a freak."

"You mean there really is a Big Foot?" he asked, his eyes getting all wide.

"I turn into a giant wolf in front of you and you're more amazed by Big Foot?" I laughed. "Hate to disappoint you, but that was sarcasm, buddy. No Big Foot, no Loch Ness Monster...although Edward's kid is nicknamed 'Nessie'. Don't mention it to Bella, though, she gets a little touchy and tries to rip out your throat"

"I'll keep that in mind," he nodded, "so, when do I get to meet the whole family?"

"Uh...anytime you want I guess."

"Hmmm, maybe after dinner?" he said a little nervously. Awwww, how cute, he was scared. Of course I wasn't sure if it was because they were a bunch of blood thirsty monsters or because he was afraid of making a bad impression or something stupid like that. Knowing Luke's high tolerance for terrifying creatures, I assumed it was the latter.

"Sure, whatever you want." I smiled.

"But..." a huge and devious grin spread across his scruffy face, "how about some dessert first?"

"Well, at least we know you're libido isn't dying," I rolled my eyes.

"You better hope not, beautiful," he smirked as he put his finger under my chin to bring my face closer to his.

I didn't stop him. I didn't want to.

"Come on, let's do it...doggy style," he said, trying to keep a straight face, but quickly dissolving into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

Okay, way to ruin the moment. I rolled my eyes as he used the hand that had just been pulling my mouth towards his to clutch his side as he laughed.

"Okay, I'm off to make you're dinner," I huffed as I pushed his stupid, goofy face back against the pillow. "I'm makin' peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

"I'm"-- laugh--"allergic"--chuckle--"to peanut"--snort--"butter," he managed to gasp.

"I know," I smiled wickedly and then skipped out of the room.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**

I think Luke just cock-blocked himself...wow, those pain meds can really mess you up, huh?


	13. Smelling, Yelling, and Sappy Sunrises

**AN**

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**  
**

Its a shitty day. You look at the thermometer and it's all like, "woohoo! Fifty-five degrees outside! Don't you just want to frolic in the beautiful weather? Lalalalala," but in reality it's raining so hard that you would've thought every male angel in heaven just got groin checked. And male angels cry like bratty six-year-olds when they get groin checked...come on, it's totally common knowledge.

Anyway, it's a shitty day outside, some hypothetical angles might be wishing they were wearing a cup, and ToWriteLovwOnAPage (thats me, the author of this thing) is eating a granola bar.

"Hey, hey you!"

"Wha?" I say, looking around like an idiot and probably spewing granola crumbs everywhere 'cause I'm just suave like that.

"Don't you 'wha?' me, what the hell is wrong with you?"

I look around. I'm alone. I think I might be going crazy. I figure I might as well respond to myself seeing as I'm obviously insane. "I don't know, there are a lot of things wrong with me...like this conversation I am currently having with myself."

"You're not talking to yourself, idiot, you're talking to me!"

I look down to my left and realize that my laptop looks...angry?

"I'm talking to my laptop?"

"No, you're talking to Leah. Remember Leah? Totally awesome, really angsty, left in the middle of a story with a dying soulmate?" My laptop rants. "What are you, some kind of sadist? Do you get your sick kicks from this shit? How could you leave me hanging!"

"Ehehehe," I laugh nervously and take a step away from my laptop seeing as I'm not sure what it's capable of anymore. "I was...busy?"

"That's a lame-ass excuse and you know it!"

"Hey! I was doing stuff like...like uh, calculus AP review packets, and seeing the Hoodies (awesome band by the way), and laughing every time my biology teacher says 'esophageal sphincter'. It's a hard-knock life, ya know?" I say defensively.

"Sphincter?"

"It's a funny word and you god-dang know it!" I argue because really? Sphincter? Just say it outloud...you laughed didn't you? "Plus I'm pretty sure I was doing something else...something important...oh yeah! I got into college! That's pretty time consuming."

"Didn't you just have to wait for an acceptance letter?" My computer says and I get the strange feeling it's mocking me. Stupid computer.

"Maybe...okay, I'm sorry! But I'm gonna be moving to Cleveland for the next four years of my life, it's kinda freakin' me out!"

"Hm, maybe they have deadlines in Cleveland," my computer says dryly.

"Shut up, why am I don't have to explain myself to you, you're a computer!"

"Don't make me delete all of your files, woman!" It responds angrily.

"Eeep!" I squeaked because I'm wayyyy to lame to make a more dignified sound effect. "Okay! I'll get writing this second, I promise! Just please, don't do that!" I beg.

"Fine, just don't get any granola crumbs on me."

"Too late...sorry."

Anywho, IM ALIVE!!! Sorry for being MIA for such a long time, I'd say it won't happen again, but it might. Just a fact of life. But yeah, college stuff has me pretty overwhelmed so, fanfiction isn't real high on my list of priorities at the moment, but I promise I won't abandon this. It will be finished!

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Chapter Song: On Your Side by Hawthorne Heights

End this now, we've gone too far

Let's take back words that turned to scars

If I could find a way to turn back time

Had to let you know I'm on your side

"It's so nice to meet you! You can call me Esme," Esme smiled, looking matronly. It looked like she was trying really, really hard not to pinch Luke's cheek.

"I'm Alice, but you already knew that, and this is Jasper," Alice chimed in with a smile coated in sugar and puppies and rainbows. Something about that chick just makes me want to find the nearest bucket and up-chuck in it before she can make it into a decorative lamp.

No, I don't have strange urges, why do you ask?

Jasper gave me an amused look, probably feeling my sudden wave of nausea cause by perkiness overload, before nodding politely at Luke.

"I'm Emmet," the 'roids monkey said, clapping Luke on the back with a goofy smile on his face. Luke only flinched a little bit, I gotta hand it to him.

"And Luke, I would like you to meet my lovely wife, Bella, and our daughter, Renesmee," Edward smiled his bestest, proudest smile, like he was unveiling the greatest show-and-tell in the history of forever. Personally I think a hamster might have made more of an impression. Bella looked so shy that she almost blent in with the white coach and her offspring looked just a little too hungry for my tastes. I knew she wouldn't like the apple.

Luke gave each and everyone of them a smile and a nod until the whole room was silent. Awkwardly silent. Really, really awkwardly silent.

"Rosalie, why don't you introduce yourself?" Carlisle finally sighed, looking more exhausted than any vamp I'd ever seen.

Rosalie threw him a death glare, before throwing me a death glare, before throwing Luke a death glare. I was almost amused...almost.

"Look barbie, you don't like me, I sort of want to kill you, but can't we just get along?" I said, crossing my arms and giving her a stare that clearly said I was not going to back down. Ice queen might scare everyone else, but I was an ice queen myself, and unlike her I wasn't afraid to kick some ass just because I might break a nail.

She turned her cold, golden eyes back to me and stared without blinking. It was like a cat. A really pretty, petulant looking cat that was just itching to be fed to the junkyard dog.

"Fine, how this goes is up to you," I shrugged. "But just to warn you: I can be just as big a bitch as you."

"Obviously," she scoffed and then turned on her perfectly pedicured heel and disappeared up the stairs.

"Well...she's a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day," Luke noted casually as everyone gaped after Rose. Emmet turned to him, looking like he was on the verge of either laughing or hitting him in the face.

Thankfully the laughter won.

"Dude!" He chuckled and lifted his hand for a high five. Luke complied, looking a little confused but entertained.

"Well, Luke, on behalf of all of us-"

There was a ripping sound from upstairs that sounded suspiciously like a vampire ripping some curtains into tiny shreds.

"-on behalf of _most_ of us," Carlisle amended, that tired look becoming more pronounced, "we welcome you and look forward to you becoming a part of our family."

"Here, here!" Emmet cheered, giving Luke another hearty pat on the back. "Now, wanna play some poker?"

Luke shrugged. "Sure, but unless it's strip poker, I ain't got anything to bet with."

Emmet blinked at him for a moment before bursting into the loudest fit of laughter I had possible ever heard. My ears were bleeding. I was sure my ears were bleeding.

"You and me are gonna be good friends," Emmet said, still laughing as he rolled Luke towards the table. "I can just tell."

***

Later that night, after much poker-playing, Emmet-pouting fun, I found myself on the floor of Luke's room, trying not stick my head in the toilet to escape the stink. It was night time and the Cullens were all in the house doing...well, I didn't really want to know what they were doing, but the point was that they were all in the house at the same time, stinkin' up the place something fierce.

I'm pretty sure my nose was trying to commit suicide.

"That's it, I need some air," I muttered. I was sure there was a balcony in the next room over, and if there wasn't, I could always punch a whole through the wall and make my own.

I looked over my shoulder one last time before slipping out the door. Luke was still asleep and I doubted anything less than a fog horn would wake him up seeing as that was probably one of very few noises louder than his snores. Seriously, it sounded like an army of growling bears trying to rip their way out of his larynx.

I closed the door quietly behind me and made for the next room, running just a little faster than necessary and throwing the doors open just a little harder than I needed to. My eyes searched wildly for the glass door I was sure led to sweet, clean air, but found something else entirely.

"Edward?" I said, looking confused. _Woah, someone isn't having a good night_, I noted mentally.

"No, I am not," he agreed curtly, sighing and returning to his previous task of staring out the window as though it had done him a great personal injury.

"Sooooo," I said, scuffing my foot awkwardly against the carpet, "did Bella send you to sleep on the couch tonight or something," I smirked, trying to relieve the obvious tension in the room. Normally I would have just ran right back out of the room, but that was kinda rude, and for some reason I suddenly cared...wow, when did that happen?

"No," he said giving me a glare before sighing again and looking back out the window, "I have sent myself to 'sleep on the couch'."

_Uh oh, trouble in paradise? _I asked seeing as if I didn't talk I wouldn't have to breath as much.

Edward glanced back at me with those weirdly golden eyes and then threw open the window and reclined in the chair he was currently occupying. I could have hugged him, really I could have...if he didn't smell so bad.

I eagerly walked over to where he was sitting and pulled up a chair right next to the blissfully open window. It was heaven.

"So, you uh...wanna talk about it?" I asked, it seemed like the right thing to do...maybe.

"This is our first fight, you know," he said more to himself than to me. "In all the time we've been together, I don't think I've ever been this angry with her."

"Well, it was gonna happen eventually," I shrugged.

"I yelled at her," he added with a pained look, "I would have made her cry if our kind could cry."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, this whole supportive friend thing was kinda foreign terrain for me. "Well, she must have done something pretty bad if it made you lose your cool."

He furrowed his brow. "She lied to my father...and she lied to me."

"Everyone lies, Edward," I told him, rolling my eyes. "Just because she's the only one that can fool you doesn't mean you should get your panties in a bunch."

He gave me a cold stare and I shrugged. "What? It's just an expression."

He shook his head and closed his eyes, his hands coming up to rub his temples as though he suddenly had a migraine. "But this was something so...so...just so stupid to lie about. There was no point! She should have told me, I could have helped her through it!"

Uh, what was he talking about? I arched a brow, "what are you talking about?"

"The morphine!" He snapped as though I was being particularly dense or something. "She told us that it worked, that she didn't feel a thing while she transformed, but she lied. She told Carlisle tonight that all it did was paralyze her, she didn't want him to give it to Luke when he was turned. She was paralyzed and she never told me!"

"Maybe she didn't tell you because she thought it would upset you if you knew," I suggested. "Obviously she was right, you're upset aren't you?"

"It doesn't matter, she should have told me," he said firmly, opening his eyes to look into mine with a fierce, animal protectiveness in their golden depths.

I scoffed and crossed my arms, leveling a glare right back at him.

"And if she did tell you, what would you have done? Apologized? Gotten her a I'm sorry the morphine didn't spare you from agonizing pain card?" I waved my hand at him dismissively. "It was in the past, there was no reason to tell you."

"But she could have told me while it was happening to her," he argued. "She said she regained movement towards the end, she could have said something, anything, but she just endured it in silence! It's...it's masochistic."

"No, it's smart," I shook my head. "If you had known she was in pain, you would have been all anxious and shit, and that would have just made it worse for her."

Edward's gaze dropped to the floor in defeat. "But she was in pain," he said in a small voice.

"Pain is good," I told him, taking my turn to stare out the window. "It makes you stronger."

It was silent for a long time after that. Edward didn't move and neither did I, and slowly the sun began to creep above the horizon, spreading it's oranges and pinks across the sky like a warm blanket of color.

_Sunrises are for sap_s, I thought disdainfully and shielded my eyes from the light that was now shining directly in my eyes.

Edward gave a small chuckle. "I'll have you know that I like sunrises."

"That only proves my point," I told him, rolling my eyes.

"Perhaps," he smirked and got to his feet. "But now, I think I have an apology to give."

"Probably the best idea," I agreed. "You definitely won't be getting any tail until you do."

He gave me a disapproving glare that only a father could have perfected and muttered, "dog," under his breath.

"That's me," I smirked. He chuckled again, this time with a little more life in his voice.

He walked over to me and before I could stop him he put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze.

"Thank you," he said.

I nodded and tried not to shiver. "No problem."

His hand fell back to his side and he turned away, staring off into space as though thinking something over.

"This means that Luke will be in pain," he said solemnly. "There is nothing to prevent it."

"I know," I sighed. "But there's nothin' I can do about it, and it's the only way to keep him alive."

Edward nodded. "I know, I was simply wondering if you could handle it."

"It won't kill me, that's all that matters," I told him.

"No, I suppose it won't." And with that, he left, leaving me alone.

"And besides, pain is good," I said to the morning sky. "It lets us know that we're alive, and most of all, it lets _me_ know that _he's_ alive."

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Yes, and thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers and readers!!! You guys are awesome and I totally haven't responded to like 70 reviews but I'm gonna try to catch up!


	14. These Days That Last A Lifetime

*********READ THIS FIRST*********

** Hey, so this chapter is kinda dark, just a warning. And also I have a new story up! It's an Inuyasha story so, obviously not all of you are gonna be interested, but I would REALLY REALLY love for some of you guys to read it. I personally think it is a lot better written than this, since this was technically the first story I've ever written. And you guys would be my favorite if you would leave some reviews for it, since so far it only has like 1...but yeah, it's called: _Of Gods and Demons_**

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Chapter Song: Here Today by Silverstein

_Here today, gone tomorrow.  
We're saying our goodbyes.  
Drive away from the past.  
Don't be sad, don't feel sorrow.  
The memories in our hearts, I won't forget. _

You know that feeling you get in the back of your mind, or the pit of your stomach, or whatever other weird place you get bad feelings? Yeah, well, when someone is yelling in panic, you don't really need feelings, feelings can go to hell, because it's pretty obvious something is wrong.

"LEAH! GET IN HERE!" Carlisle called from the hallway as I heard him throw open Luke's door.

No, I thought, my heart dropping. No, not yet, not yet.

I jumped up from my chair, knocking it over, and flew into the other room. Carlisle and Edward were hovering over Luke, talking so quickly that I couldn't understand them.

Their voices grew less heated, their disturbed faces settled back into their usual, stoic facades and Edward gave Carlisle a quick nod. He gave one last look to his father bfore turning to leave stopping when he was at my side and giving me a look that totally said I'm sorry, but you're life is about to be fucked. He patted me on the back once and then was gone.

And I just stood there, in shock, unable to look at anything but the blank wall where Edward's face had been.

"Leah, it's time," Carlisle said urgently, waking me from my trance. "His kidneys are failing, and soon other organ systems will start to shut down as well, we need to do it now."

I just nodded as my gaze settled on Luke's ashen face. He was unconscious, maybe in a coma, maybe Carlisle had put him under, who knew. It didn't really matter anyway, because he was dying. Right now. Not tomorrow, or next week, or in a month, but RIGHT NOW.

I almost passed out.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way, we were supposed to have more time, more...more something.

"Perhaps you should look away," Carlisle said, his voice sounding a million miles away.

I just shook my head. I couldn't look away if I wanted to.

"A minute," I finally managed to say, my words landing like stones in a pound, disturbing the quiet calm I had created. "Does he have a minute?"

Carlisle nodded and was gone in a blur of color. I walked over to Luke's side and lowered my lips to his ear. "You'll get through this," I told him firmly. "It'll hurt like hell, but...suck it up."

And with that I kissed his forehead and took a step back. Carlisle came rushing into the room without a word and gave me a curt nod.

"You must not react, Leah, this is hard enough to do without having an anxious werewolf threatening me," he said seriously.

"I got it," I told him, never taking my eyes off Luke.

He gave another nod and then with only a moment's hesitation, he plunged his fangs into Luke's neck.

My world had gone red, everything about what I was seeing screamed at me to lunge at the doctor and rip him apart for what he was doing to Luke, but I restrained. I clenched my fists so tightly that my nails dig into my palms, drawing blood, but I wouldn't move. Luke needed this, I needed this...I just wished it didn't feel as though my heart was ripping itself apart to watch it.

Carlisle stepped back, his hand coming up to wipe the single drop of blood that clung to his lip - he had obviously perfected this and I didn't know if I should be happy about that, or disgusted.

"Edward has left with the others for the time being, we thought it would be best to keep them away while Luke was bitten - the smell of fresh blood and all - but he will return shortly. As for Luke, the anesthetic I placed him under will be burned away within the hour, then all we can do is wait," Carlisle said in a somewhat strained voice. "Now, if you will excuse me, I believe I need a breath of fresh air. I'm sorry."

I watched as the doc gave me an apologetic smile and nearly bolted from the room. I guess what he had just done was a bit draining, but his retreat left me with a weird feeling. Maybe it was because I never thought I'd see the day when his calm, controlled manner failed him, or maybe it was because I hadn't expected the process to look quite so gruesome.

It had looked just like a horror movie, a real life dracula, but worse. I could hear his skin break beneath sharp, cutting teeth, smell his blood as it was drawn, see the horrible, crescent scar left behind as Carlisle licked the wound and pulled away.

I walked over to Luke and placed a tentative finger on the scar, it hissed as the still fresh venom hit my skin.

"Oh, Luke, I'm so sorry," I mumbled as I took a step back, watching as the burns on my fingers healed before my eyes.

"He cannot hear you," Edward said from the doorway, I didn't need to see him to know that's were he was, probably leaning on the doorjam with his arms crossed and his expression inexplicably soft for a man who's face was made of marble. "He is asleep, the venom will wake him soon enough, but for now, let him rest."

I slumped my shoulders and sighed. "How come you came back? You didn't have to, I'm sure the others won't be back for hours."

"Days," he corrected, pushing away from the doorway and walking over to me. "It will be easier on you if they are not here for the duration of Luke's transformation, they will hunt in the meantime."

"Edward, don't avoid the question, I'm not in the mood for bullshit. Tell me why you came back, you didn't have to, I don't even think you wanted to," I told him, my weary eyes coming to rest on his as he pulled the love-seat over to Luke's bedside and sat down.

"Maybe not," he agreed, "but I know that I would not have wanted to go through this alone; I had my family, and you have me."

"A smelly, pompous, bat?" I chuckled tiredly and sat down beside him, burying my face in my hands.

"No, a friend."

"Oh...is it time to cue the inspirational music yet?"

***

Sometime later in the after noon, Luke woke up. At first it was just a lot of soft grunts and moans, as though he were simply having a bad dream, but soon it escalated to full blown shouting.

He had thrashed wildly in his bed, yelling about burning and fire and a pain so intense he wanted to die. It had taken both of our combined strength to finally get him to calm down, holding each of his arms down to the bed as his back arched of the mattress in agony and sweat poured down his face. I had told him what was going on, told him that I was there for him, that it would be over soon.

He had opened his eyes and told me to kill him.

I broke a few pieces of furniture after that, going from room to room, breaking anything that looked too whole or peaceful or happy, which was almost everything. Edward hadn't stopped me, he had remained with Luke, telling him things that only someone who had undergone such a transformation could tell.

After awhile he went silent. His breathing was heavy and his heart was racing, but he never moved a muscle and never spoke a word. His jaw clenched every time I touched him, and so, I was forced to watch from his side, murmuring useless stories that had no real beginnings and flowed onto the next tale without every really ending. Edward would check his pulse every so often, or comment on the venom's progress, but other than that he simply waited with me.

Sometime that first night, Edward brought me dinner. I don't remember what it was, but it tasted like emptiness, and at the same time filled my stomach until it was overflowing. I was eating and Luke lay silent as he burned and I needed to escape.

I ran that night, jumped right out the window and ran into the forest, not even bothering to change into my wolf form. About nine miles in I threw up, I decided that it had tasted just as empty coming up as when it had gone down, and I ran some more. The branches and roots that tore my skin and rubbed my feet raw went unnoticed. Pain is good, pain is distracting.

When I came back almost a day later, bruised and bloody and dirty, Edward never said a word. He just tossed me a blanket and moved over on the couch.

Somewhere in the late hours of that second night I fell asleep on Edward's shoulder and woke up in his arms. He told me I had been crying in my sleep, I told him I didn't cry.

I might have punched a hole through the wall that day, I don't remember. What I do remember is the exact moment his scent began to change. It was one forty-seven in the afternoon, it was raining, but not very hard, and Luke groaned just once. The first sound he had made in hours. I looked at him and he looked just a little too pale, just a little too perfect, and he wasn't sweating anymore even though his heart was absolutely racing.

And then I realized I couldn't smell the ocean and I ran into the next room and collapsed into the nearest corner, my blunt, human nails breaking as I racked them down the wall in front of me.

Edward followed me after a few minutes, not bothering to ask if I was okay because we both knew I wasn't. I had told him watching Luke suffer wouldn't kill me, and it wouldn't, but just because I wasn't dead, didn't mean that I wasn't dying.

"Less than a day," Edward told me softly, sliding down next to me as I huddled on the floor.

"You know what the sick thing is?" I asked, my voice sounding foreign from lack of use. "You know what really kills me?"

Edward didn't say anything, there wasn't anything to say.

"It's not like I even want this, it's not like I even give a damn about living forever!" I hissed. "I would have been happy with a normal life, with getting married and having kids and growing old on a stupid, beat-up, wooden porch. I would have been happy with a hundred years come and gone and two grave stones, one right next to the other. Why can't I just be normal, just once, why can't things happen the way they're supposed to?"

Edward looked at me and took my hand. "There are few who are truly extraordinary in this world, Leah, and fewer who are strong enough to handle it. You are strong, but strength has its price."

"Then I don't want to be strong," I mumbled sadly, turning away from him.

"But you are," he shrugged, standing up and helping me to my feet. "Now, you have to decide if you are strong enough to be happy with forever, because forever is what you have."

Three hours, thirty-two minutes, and seventeen seconds later, Luke's heart stopped. And when he opened his eyes, I did not see forever, I saw red.

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**ENd Notes:**

So, that was the transformation. I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to write it, but I'm happy I think.

Anyway, read my new fanfic? Please and thank you's


	15. Being Immortal Ain't Easy

**AN**

Yay, there are officially over 10,000 hits on this story, thanks to all my lovely readers! You guys are awesome so this is for you...a little peak into Lukes mind.

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**LUKE'S POV.**

I'd never been one to make a big show over pain, just wasn't my style. Played a lot of football in high school, got tackled and elbowed, sure it hurt, but you didn't show it - didn't hurt enough to show it anyway.

And then I woke up cryin' like a baby and realized that I'd never felt real pain before in my life.

Last thing I remember about before that moment was pain too, but thinking back on it, that pain had been like a bag of kittens. I guess that's the thing about pain, you think it's the worst thing anyone could possibly feel when it's happening to you, but then you look back on it and realize it wasn't really anything at all. Maybe I'll look back on this and think it didn't hurt that bad...I doubt it. I think I'll remember this for the rest of my life, which I guess is forever, at least that's what they told me.

I still didn't really believe all this fairy tale nonsense, not really, not until now. I still sorta thought it might be some big, sick joke, but now I knew. A pain this bad could only be supernatural.

Well, it doesn't matter, now I know, part of me is kinda ticked that I didn't believe 'em, part of me wishes they had been lying and I was dead. I don't like to think about it, it only makes the hurt worse.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, the last thing I remember was pain, like my insides weren't workin' like they should...not that they ever really had, but this was a lot worse. I was sweatin' and my sides felt like knives were just usin' them as a pin cushion. The doc came in then, the friendly one with the nice hair and perfect face, and he did some shit. You'd think bein' in the hospital so much I woulda picked up on some of this medical business, but I guess I never cared too much about the method as long as it worked. And when it didn't work, when all that chemo and IV fluids did squat, there was no reason to care at all.

Well, anyway, the doc came in, did something, asked me how I felt. I told him, 'like shit doc', and he nodded, lookin' real concerned. I always hated that about doctors, they looked concerned but deep down you knew you were just a new treatment or experiment that they wanted to try out, but this guy actually looked like he cared. Maybe he was just a good actor, who knows, all I do know is that about a second later he stuck me with a needle and everything went dark.

I think I mighta heard shouting, and then whispers, and then somebody leaving. I think I heard that girl's voice too, that one that loves me for some reason even I can't figure out. I think I remember her tellin' me I would have to suck it up and I woulda smiled if I could, 'cause it was just such a Leah thing to say. Never one for sentimentalities, that woman, which is good...sentimentalities can stay in hallmark cards where they belong.

After that I felt like I was swimming. I was always on the edge of total darkness, but somethin' was keeping me from going all the way under, like I was tryin' to hide beneath a blanket but someone kept tryin' to pull it away.

The pain wasn't so bad in the dark, it was just an ache, and I ached all the time anyway so, it wasn't anything new. But then it started to burn, the darkness that had kept me so dang comfy started to fade and things got so bright I wanted to rip my eyes out and throw 'em against the wall. That's when I realized I was screaming, two sets of hands - one too hot and one too cold - were holdin' me down, and I fought them because it was the only thing I could think to do.

I heard Leah somewhere, sounding a million miles away and right next to me at the same time. She said...something, I don't know, I was screaming too loud. I opened my eyes then, just to make sure this wasn't hell, because it sure as hell _felt _like hell, and I saw her. She looked so relieved and so sad at the same time and I didn't care. I just wanted it to end. I asked her to do it, asked her to kill me because I knew if there was anyone who woulda done what I asked, it was her.

But she didn't so, I kept on burning.

She left the room then, looked like she wanted to cry, but I knew she wouldn't. And part of me wanted to forget that I felt like my bones were all breaking only to heal right back up and break again, but I couldn't. I closed my eyes again because without her there was nothing worth lookin' at anyway.

The truth was that part of me was glad I couldn't go after her, part of me wanted her to suffer just a little 'cause I was suffering so much. It was a mean, selfish thing to think, but I never said I was perfect, and you can't help what you think, you can only help what you say. And I didn't say anything.

I stopped yelling after awhile 'cause it only made my throat hurt even more than it already did. The younger one, Edward, he told me it was okay to yell if I wanted, that sometimes it made it easier. I wanted to tell him to get a fuckin' dictionary and look up the definition of easy.

Leah came back sometime later, her footsteps were so loud in my ears they felt like they would bleed. She came over and touched my face and it felt like a thousand tiny, white hot pins were all stabbing me at once. I bit my tongue until it bled, but I didn't scream again, of I did, I wouldn't be able to stop. The bleeding stopped soon anyway, just stopped like it had never even started at all, and I was both relieved and scared, but in too much pain to really be either.

Leah didn't touch me again, which was good seeing as I felt like a pile of ash that would crumble if anything even got to close. She told me stories, I don't remember most of what she said, couldn't concentrate, but it was sort of nice to hear something other than the screaming inside my head.

I noticed everything was starting to feel weird then. The sheets had too many threads, clothes made too much noise when they rubbed up against each other, I could feel every drop of sweat that ran down my face. It was weird, but I ignored it; what else could I do?

I heard forks scraping on plates and a few words between two people forced to watch a man die. Then I heard her leave, she threw open a window and was gone. I wished Edward would close it after her, the breeze felt like an ice so cold it burned just like the rest of me. But he left it open, he went away too, probably to clean up whatever was left of the food Leah had been eating. I got the impression that they were all just a little obsessive compulsive about cleaning...I wondered if I would be too.

It felt like years passed, sounds were getting too loud so I just listened to the beating of my heart. It was too fast, but that was okay, it was always just a little too fast nowadays, probably from the cancer...or maybe it just wanted something to be excited about. But now I just wanted it to stop. The doc had told me that was the last step, the heart would stop and then you'd be dead, but not really. I wished I could make it stop myself, just to escape the pain, but he said I had three days. Three days of agony to pay for eternity, it didn't seem like a big deal, but now I knew that purgatory must have been something like this. You joke about your bad deeds and think about hell, but you don't know how bad it really is until you get there.

Twenty lifetimes later I heard her come back. I could _smell_ her and she smelt like pain. I tried not to breath after that, I had enough pain, I didn't need to smell it too.

The fire felt like it was burning through my veins, like someone had injected acid right into my blood and it was slowly turning it to jello. I could feel were the blood still flowed, free and untainted, but I could feel where it didn't too. The part of me that was still alive felt like it was dying in the worst way possible, like every cell in my body was exploding and putting itself back together using fire. The part of me that was dead _still_ felt like it was dying, but it felt it a lot more, like somehow I could feel the very air around me...and it burned just like every other feeling.

I think I remember when the cancer was gone. First the burning got worse in a certain spot in my gut, and then it felt like it was left a hole, a void where something had once been, but that now was gone. I felt like I could breath for the first time in forever and I wished I couldn't...it hurt to breath.

Smells got stronger, sounds got louder, feelings got more intense. I tried to tune it all out, it was bad enough having to deal with the pain without having to deal with this too, but I couldn't ignore everything.

Leah's nails were breaking in the other room, she said something and it sounded like...bitter, but I couldn't make out what she said. I heard Edward's voice too and I wanted to tell him to get her the heck outta here so she wouldn't have to see this, but knowing Leah - and somehow I _did _know Leah - she probably woulda just kicked his ass.

The burn was getting stronger now, like adding gasoline to a forest fire, and I clenched the sheets in my hands so tight I thought they would melt to my skin. And then it started to fade, starting in my hands and feet and working its way towards my heart. But there was no relief, because for each inch of my body that was freed from the burning, my chest burned twice as fiercely.

I thought I was going to just explode out of existence - no one could go through this and just get up and walk away - but I didn't explode. Just my heart did. It thundered in my chest, like a hundred horses running across the top of the world's biggest drum, and then...it stopped.

The burning was gone and I heard nothing but my own breath, felt nothing but perfect, and when I opened my eyes...I saw nothing but Leah.

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**EN**

So, what did ya think? Angsty enough? Oh and have you read my new story yet? You should.

http:// www. fanfiction .net/s/5029497/1/Of_Gods_And_Demons


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